Drowning and gasping for air. I am drowning in my own thoughts, the thoughts that keep me up at 3 am. The thoughts that put a whole in my heart, that rip my self-esteem into two. I am drowning, trying to gasp for air. Air that could be my only saving grace. Air that could be my last breath. It comes across my mind, Do I want to live? Do I want to suffer with all these demeaning thoughts in my head that only I can hear? I have lost the movement of my body. My body goes rigid. And I have lost all the will to try and stay alive. So I let the evil thoughts come and poison me, until my last dying breath.