Once upon a time you heard the word 'goodbye' for the first time. Even without a definition you could feel a pain in your chest as you watched the one who spoke it walk away. The first of many to come, something that no textbook prepared you for. Every time it was a little more painful, paper cuts that slowly turned into flesh wounds. Invisible scars that would last you a lifetime. Nobody else could recognize the agony it left but you sure felt it every step of the way. It was like living in a cartoon where a rain cloud hung over your head as sunshine followed everybody else. Three days ago someone said it to you for the thousandth time. Something snapped inside of you that day, although you can't tell whether it was a rib or the last string holding you together. Each record you play to drown out reality is another conversation about love that makes you wanna scream. You dig for something more but this time nothing else lies beneath what's on the surface. X marks the spot but there was no buried treasure, just a chest full of the empty promises people couldn't keep. You might as well bury yourself back in the hole you spent so much time digging up. Better to be safely guarded than sorry you ever showed someone love. The clock stopped the day they walked away but somehow it still manages to tick. Each one a reminder of another second spent longing for a future that doesn't exist. A broken clock is right twice a day but it isn't going to tell you how long it'll take to fix what's fallen apart. This is a disease called abandonment and you can cry in front of hospital doors all you want but there is no cure.