how selfish was I
to do things to make myself happy,
to want to travel,
to want to see just a little bit of color
in my own black and white world.

I was selfish to take myself
out of your world for a few days,
to make you have to fend for yourself,
to make you realize that I'm growing stronger.

I'm sorry I was selfish
about worrying about my own mental health,
I'm sorry that I dread coming back to our house,
that I feel myself constantly
on the edge of a breakdown
every time I return.

I'm sorry I was selfish
when I put my feelings before yours.
how dare I put my own happiness
ahead of yours...