Aug 2016
Stepping into another realm
where pain and sadness and happiness gladness
and regret bear no acceptance,
and are left at the door as I left at the door
my sanity, my humanity, my will to breathe.
Floating among shadows of past and of lives so far away.
Lives so forgotten and memories of childhood bliss
and content now become
droplets of terror
which form holes in time,
gaps in my life as the presence
which once existed in those gaps no longer exists in my world.
Walking among these shadows
and seeing the blankness in their eyes,
their hollowed shells rise and walk alongside me,
beckoning me.
Frivolous eyes of null draw the life from within me.
Life and organs and blood pumping
throughout a numbed body
as my organs transform before escaping.
Heart frosting over,
icicles forming,
further numbing my already numbed existence.
Veins like blackened highways of broken stone
crackle becoming dust
before seeping through my pores,
forever leaving my body.
The rest of me exits anyway it can
until I become a shell,
walking among shells,
casting shadows among shadows
and becoming a shade among shades.
where pain and sadness and happiness gladness
and regret bear no acceptance,
and are left at the door as I left at the door
my sanity, my humanity, my will to breathe.
Floating among shadows of past and of lives so far away.
Lives so forgotten and memories of childhood bliss
and content now become
droplets of terror
which form holes in time,
gaps in my life as the presence
which once existed in those gaps no longer exists in my world.
Walking among these shadows
and seeing the blankness in their eyes,
their hollowed shells rise and walk alongside me,
beckoning me.
Frivolous eyes of null draw the life from within me.
Life and organs and blood pumping
throughout a numbed body
as my organs transform before escaping.
Heart frosting over,
icicles forming,
further numbing my already numbed existence.
Veins like blackened highways of broken stone
crackle becoming dust
before seeping through my pores,
forever leaving my body.
The rest of me exits anyway it can
until I become a shell,
walking among shells,
casting shadows among shadows
and becoming a shade among shades.
On November 14th, 2015, my bestfriend who I was raised with, who became my sister, was in a traumatic car accident. She has fought for her life, suffering from seizures, aneurysms, constant infections, speech paralysis, paralysis to her left side of her body, and so many other struggles. However, she remained brave and willing to continue fighting. It was announced earlier this evening that her fight has ended, as she went into a coma, and was brain dead. She was taken off the ventilator, and I was forced to lift my eyes to the sky and tell my sister good bye. I have never been faced with grief before, and my emotions are being tested. They have escaped me, as I cannot find them. I am numb, and confused.
