I never thought I'd say this,
that I'm unsure of what it means to be loved,
or to love another.
I remember the love I've had for past loves,
Nervousness,
Uncontrollable blushing,
Butterflies in my stomach,
Connections that never felt like they could be broken,
The glances I couldn't break,
because I'd be captivated by the beauty of loving them,
then each of those loves ended,
and I'd been forced to leave them in the past,
finding new loves,
new meaning,
new connections,
that don't feel the same.
Now I question the meaning of love,
What does it mean to be in love?
What does it mean to be loved?
What does it mean to love another?
Am I in love?
Am I capable of being in love?
--or am I here existing?
Breathing in this love,
Only because this love feels safe?
I've confused myself on my own beliefs,
when the pure-hearted,
Non-bitter,
Young me,
always believed,
True love never fades away....
So tell me please...
What does it mean...
To be....loved?
To...love?
For you to be in love with me?
I've lost the meaning of this word,
I only hope to some day be shown that someone in this world,
will love me, for me.