Crying Night
You said mean
nasty
horrible
teasing
things
you didn’t think
about what you said
to me
I turned my back
and we sat in silence.
The glow of our phones lighting up our faces
mine, sad
yours, oblivious
mine, a way out of our plans tomorrow
yours, Facebook scrolling
then,
the last straw
the tip of the iceberg
it wasn’t the things he said that night
it was everything
it was me feeling like I wasn’t good enough
our hearts filled not equally
mine, full, overflowing, even
yours, unsure,
you turned to me and tried to make me giggle
react
laugh
at a post
I shoved you
and the flood gates opened
first quietly
then raging
heavy, breathe taking sobs
crying crying
then you realized
this wasn’t a joke
you held me tight
and I told you why
All of it, and you laid and listened
silence
shhhhhh you said.
shhhhhh you’re okay.
shhhh
No,
No I’m not
this isn’t okay.
why am I not enough
the way I feel is too much
I shouldn’t have to hold it all back
You’ve turned me into an insomniac