Everyone knows that cold is numbing.
"Put some ice on it"
Why?

So that it goes away.
The pain recedes.
You don't feel.

Yet..somewhere on that scale from cold to numb,
Just a tick below, mind you--
Just a degree or two warmer,

There is alive

Today, not for the first time,
I walked into the shower;
Upset, confused, frustrated, despairing.

Today, not for the first time,
I let the water rain down over me as I sat;
I allowed it to wash over my pain.

Today, for the first time,
I turned the water not warmer,
But colder.

Then colder, and colder still.
I did not want to numb.
I discovered something.

As the water washed over me,
(the way I might imagine a rainstorm in Alaska to feel),
I felt alive.

Today, for the first time,
I lifted my head to meet the glorious cascade.
I felt

The water poured over me,
My thick, curly, sodden mass of hair veiled me,
Protecting my eyes from the icy deluge of daggers.

I was alive--
Free, refreshed, rejuvenated.
The water washed away my pain.

Today, not for the first time,
I was interrupted.
A knock at the door beckoned my response.

"Be out in a couple minutes!"
Regretfully, I rose,
Turned the water warmer, and sighed.

Within this 5'X3' tub I had found the only freedom a man is truly free to know.
The freedom of feeling.

Now, leaving my self-imposed confines,
I wondered if I would regain this freedom.
Ironic, isn't it?

That only upon leaving our free, enclosed spaces,
Are we forced to confront the constraints and limits against our emotion?