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May 2016
It's 2pm and it's pouring outside.
Mother Nature is singing of sorrow.
I am numb, for the most part.
Until that ache in my chest begins.
I've never felt anything like this before.
I can feel my heart being ripped in two.
After so many years we merged together.
So nicely you couldn't even see a seam.
Now we're parting ways and trying to find ourselves.
Trying to distinguish what part goes where and with who.
Trying to leave it how we found it.
Trying to figure out which parts are me and which parts are you.
And I guess I should feel free.
I should feel a weight being lifted.
I should be something...
But I am not.
I am invisible.
Hiding in the shadows.
Watching my life like a television screen.
Covering my eyes at the gory parts.
You won't see me anymore.
That piece is dead.
I'm sad to say, as much as I don't want it to be...this is the end.
And I'll write you one last goodbye one hundred times over.
I'll say I'm really letting go.
That it's easy.
That I'm fine.
But deep down I know I'm not.
if I thought I could keep you and be happy I would...
I did.
Many times.
But at some point you have to accept what is.
And it's not what it was anymore.
We're at our crossroad.
You in one vehicle and myself in the other.
I'm looking at you in the rear view mirror...
And I'm driving to a home I don't know.
AJ Fredrickson
Written by
AJ Fredrickson  27/F
(27/F)   
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