A soul searching for an answer and finding it within whilst still sat up wondering what the **** the question is. If I hit this wall, my skin'll try to crawl, but will I find a smile hiding under it all? And yes, it's all 'okay', but is that how I want it to be? The beauty of pain missing as I crawl through happy days. Is living enough? Or do we need more than love? We need the sting of touching fire or we'd be born with ******* gloves. I mean- yes, I'm 'happy', but is that the point? I guess it's pretty stupid that I think I'm annoyed at being human in general, it's wonderfully mad and I can't complain with the life I've had. And yes, living is great. It's the best thing I do, but isn't it strange how sometimes you kind of want to lose? It's all just a game at the end of the day, and if losing wasn't an option it'd be a ******* boring game to play.
So we make our own rules, add snakes to balance ladders and keep our minds amused. But what's the use? When unhappy feels bad but all happy just screws us. You drown it in *****; the need for something new. After all, we're only human and it ******* confuses us. A craving for a day when we can feel our infinity, ignoring the human races basic stupidity and in reality we just end up making ourselves feel ******. At least we're ******* feeling, the highs and the lows, trying to find the balance and let go of the blows.
"Go with the flow." we whisper through jaws clamped tight shut, not even allowing the words to stay put in our mouths while we're pondering how to be satisfied through brains built on doubt. That's the human condition and in itself it has beauty, but that doesn't mean i have to enjoy the way we see. Stumbling along in an attempt to find some freedom, but when we're trapped by our form it's us that gets beaten and I've found myself lost now I'm craving to feel, not caring if it's pain as long as it's real. A knot in the stomach of life through our eyes, that begs us for more if we can't find the time for excitement in our lives. I want to adventure, to fall and to climb, feel the waves of emotion that come with it; thrive after the dive, to find some perspective underneath conditioned lies. And why? Because as soon as I feel like I'm stuck in routine, it bites me in the **** and makes me want to scream. We need ******* more in our days and our nights, the essence of passion that brings us to life. So **** it to 'normal' and **** it to 'fine', I'll find my peace in the fall to the fire between the lines.