once upon a time
i thought feelings mattered
if it can change your whole world,
it has to mean something

it's impossible for one to feel so much
and the other nothing at all
because darling, i am so in love with you
and it'd pain me to know that you didn't love me too

but then again you don't know that
because i keep my mouth shut
or maybe you do,
but keep yours shut too

you have it easy
people chasing you here and there
because that's just how special you are
and i hate how i fell for it
i hate how i fell for you

and though i know you could never fall for someone like me,
i cant help but cling on to the hope
that maybe you really are different
maybe you defy the odds
maybe you're the angel who was sent to love me

but right now
i'll keep this where it is
i don't want to lose another friendship
due to a failed attempt at a relationship,
and remember everything about myself
that i know will never be good enough

so excuse me if i seem
unsolvable, mysterious, secretive, even sketchy
but i dont want to open my heart up
to someone like you
because you don't deserve
to have my image of you ruined
when you break my heart with your sincerity

so while it's still alive but barely breathing,
please stop doing that thing you do
because i know im fearless, but oh darling,
the one exception is: i am afraid of loving you