we think from opposite sides of the bed and dance around the idea of us, but it'll only make things harder because we use each other on nights where ****** **** and cheap liquor aren't enough to keep us from tearing apart. so instead we tear off our clothes and pretend nothing is wrong, pretend we don't want this to be more complicated, pretend we don't want us, pretend we're both not falling apart

but we are and you feel it too, but what happens when one of us doesn't? we both lose a friend and a lover at the same time and i don't know what i'll do without you in my life so i keep a distance and we try not to complicate things but we already fell in love before any of this happened, we never had meaningless no-strings-attached ***, the strings were attached and you knew it too. but we pressed on as if nothing was about to go awry. this was inevitable.

you and i used to tell each other the world, we used to say everything that was in our minds but what's on our minds now is too heavy a weight to bear on two broken-souled teenagers who just wanted something simple. we never asked to fall in love. we started from the wrong end of a relationship, there's no turning back and we can't start over. it's time we stopped pretending.

i roll over to your side of the bed. you wrap your arms around me and pull me in so tightly i wonder if we're fused together. we both refuse to acknowledge our feelings. we pretend it's platonic, the way you kiss me on the forehead, the way i hold your hand, the way we look at each other. for a moment we look into each other's eyes and consider our feelings, but we look away and you pull me in closer. we stay like that, listening to the raindrops on your bedroom window and longing for each other even with my head against your chest.