It's becoming obvious that the thing I had thought I had tucked away was only playing a bigger game. It was when I thought to jump off the local bridge when I realized it was back and that shook every broken peice of me. I wanted to love "him" so bad but now the monster has made his name a bitter taste in my mouth. My depression makes me replay every mistake  I made with him a thousands time before it reminds me how pathetic of a person I am. There has never been an escape for me. I'm so sick of feeling alone and worthless. Alone and worthless...I was free.