My mind has been nothing more than a sea of unfiltered thoughts; waves of raging emotions and feelings that I am still dealing with despite the course of time that has swept the landscape and brought about change. My once barren battlefield littered with the remains of soldiers that died fighting for a lost cause had shifted into a empty plains with subtle signs of life emerging from ashes of the desert. Over time, the seasons brought about growth as the faint sound of the drum echoed in the distance. Trances of green and wildlife flourished into plains and forests.  Though it appeared beating normally, the cadence of my life drum beats in irregular patterns, seemingly unable to break the internal habit that has started long ago it was broken. It fails to function properly but it refuses to quit, recalling a time where those who heard it rejoiced. It continues to play despite being faced with the storms and violent winds that plague my mind when I see you. It plays when the rain floods the land whenever I call our memories. It even plays the same defective pattern when it clear skies and the sun is aboard. It played even when I demanded it to stop.

Why... after all this time... it still continues to string me along with the beat? It insist that I push forward while feeding me dreams and desires that I'm not even sure are my own. Thoughts of better days and heartfelt memories. Dreams of love and affection. Desires of raw passion and lust. Fantasies of someone that cherishes me as I cherish them.

Hope is music that heart plays. And though I am reminded of you each and every time I hear the beat, it plays to remind me that there is still something ahead. Experiences and memories just over the horizon. And for as long as it continues to play, I will always answer its call.