Do you even love me?
You say you do.
Point to your work,
Your sacrifice,
Your humility,
Fortitude.

I guess I believe you,
Empirically.
Objectively.
But it doesn't feel that way.
I feel...

Dismissed.

No, that's not the right word.
Resented?
Yes, I feel resented.
You resent the pain I cause you,
The hurt,
The torment.
I don't know where it comes from,
How I cause it.

But I do.
It comes from my stubbornness,
Inherited.
It comes from my belief that I am right,
Learned.
From you.

I wonder,
Do you feel you would be happier without me?
Without us,
Your family?
Would you not be so tied down?
Able to live your life for yourself,
As you claim you're so unable to do,
Always?

It feels like you resent me.
Us.
But mostly I think you resent yourself,
The choices you've made.

You say you don't.

I don't know.
Maybe you do,
Maybe you don't.

I am not you.
I cannot know.

But I am very much like you.
We are both stubborn.
Resolute.
Strong-willed.

Good qualities in small doses,
Poisonous in large ones.

We take them in horse pills.
Too large.

You say you love me.
Love us.
It doesn't feel that way.
But I know you do.

You're too strong willed not to.
You wouldn't care this much if you didn't.

I guess you do.
I only wish it felt that way.