I think one day it might be nice to call you and tell you that I'm sorry. I just bought a house with this guy I love very much and I've been very busy but he works different hours than me so I've also had a lot of time to think. I think pretty often about how in love we were and how it could be said that I went ahead and ****** everything up. That's okay though. Because you loved hanging on your mothers coat tails at 30 more than you loved me and the guy before you loved *** more than me and the guy before him loved men more than me and the guy before that loved liquor more than me and the guy before him loved drugs more than me and the guy before that loved himself more than me.

I see now that no matter how much you give it will never be enough.

Though I still refuse to stop giving.

I'm sorry.

Maybe someday you'll put on your own coat instead of hanging onto your moms sleeve.

I hope whoever you love next is more complacent than I was.

I never liked to see the wheels stop spinning and we were always stuck in traffic.

But maybe that was just me.

I don't know. I just wanted to tell you that I'm doing fine and I'm happy.

I hope you get better.