when you ask me: how do you feel?
what i say is: I'm good, how are you?
when i really mean: I'm scared. of loosing the fight,
i  feel hopeless, i almost lost last night.

when you ask: do you want to eat?
what i say is: no I'm not hungry. i had a big lunch
when what i really mean is: yes. i haven't eaten in days.
please tell me to eat because i will if you tell me to.

when you say: you look sad, are you aright?
what i say is: yeah I'm fine. i just finished a sad book.
when what i mean is: no. I'm not. please help me because
i feel lost. and alone. I'm scared.

when you ask me: why don't you smile more?
i say: i don't know
but i really mean: i feel to alone to smile.
and i don't have the energy to.

when you ask me: what wrong?
all i say is: nothing
but inside I'm screaming: i feel like i can't breathe.
the sun is to bright it hurts my eyes. can you help me?

so listen to my words and if i ever say: I'm alright
know that I'm most definitely not alright.
its okay its not your fault you didn't hear
i hid my thoughts
but i live in fear.