I sit in the pews
And I read your gospel
Of pretty things that you say
Things that make me okay
Things that lift me up
This word of God of sorts
That divides my soul in half
Tearing the black, tar-like mess
That is myself from it and
Condemning the demons within
To Hell where they came from
Leaving behind a clean, pure
White slate that's just waiting
To be filled with your love
The love you blessed me with
The love I don't deserve but
So willingly take because of
The way you say my name
And make me feel whole again
A feeling that seemed so gone
So long gone that I lost my will
And it became a downhill battle
Slowly but sure surely
Burning my demons with the
Light of your love that I am able
To accept and hold strong to
Without your blessings and
Unconditional love that seems
To be unheard of I couldn't have
Overcome what I have overcome
And it's it your Old Testament
That rewrites my New Testament
Saving it from the flames of hell
That devour the voices in my head
The ones that's scream
"You're not good enough"
"You don't deserve him"
"You'll **** the ones you love
Along with yourself
Create distance before it is too
Late for all of you"
"Maybe hurting yourself will give
You the control that you can't find"
You lifted my crucified heart
From its grave that it laid dead
In for much longer than 3 days
And you removed the nails
And saved it from the devil
Known as self hatred
You held my hands in prayer
And through your hands
Flowed love and freedom
From myself that I needed
You made self love an option
And by looking at you
I just know that
*Your smile is my church