If I was honest
and you said,
"How are you today?"
I would say,
"Not okay."

And in a perfect world
you would say,
"Tell me about it."
And I would reply,
"I want to die."

And you wouldn't look at me
with those sad,
disappointed,
yet loving eyes.

You would say,
"That's okay."
"Just don't do it today."
"For me."

In my perfect world
you wouldn't degrade my feelings.
In my perfect world
you would give me an achievable goal.
In my perfect world
you would give me a reason.

But this is not my perfect world.

This is the.
*******. Worst.
world to be in
if you have a mental illness.

In this world
IF
I told you the truth
you would say,
"Nothing."
And I would watch you
walk away
with those eyes.

In this world
I don't tell you the truth.
Because it's better
to only hurt myself
and not to hurt you.​