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Nov 2015
I learned that sometimes life doesn’t always hand you lemons.  Sometimes life hands you a grenade with the clip already pulled and it blows up in your face. Well, besides the fact that this type of hand grenade doesn’t **** you… not yet anyways.
Life hands you obstacle after obstacle. Trial after trial. Heart break after heart break.
Life is hard, but you are tough.
I know what it is like to feel alone in a crowded room. To feel like no one understands. To cry in the shower so no one can hear you sob and grasp for air. I know what it feels like when you feel like you can’t do anything anymore.
I learned that no one can make me happy. Maybe for a few days, a few weeks, or maybe even a few months, but it doesn’t last long.
Depression is real, and it lives inside people you wouldn’t even imagine.
Depression almost killed me.
Life handed me depression, like a grenade with the clip already pulled and it blew up… in my face. Life isn’t easy, not with depression. But dealing with depression is something that not many can do.
But that’s what I learned. I learned how to deal with being sad 97% of the time. I learned how to look in the mirror and accept what was there. I learned how to cry softer, and not speak my opinion all the time, because I know no one gives a **** about what I feel or what I think. I learned that not every situation needs a reaction. I learned that you can’t trust those who you once thought you could.
That’s what I learned.
Ell
Written by
Ell  Fort Wayne
(Fort Wayne)   
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