I've hidden behind so many "I'm okay"s.
The decieving happiness has become second nature.
My fake smiles and pretend laughs have become easier than the **** down the street.

"How are you?"
Don't hesitate.
Smile.
Sound peppy.
Sound happy.
"Good!"
Was that too peppy?
Too forced?
No one cares enough to notice anyway.
"Are you okay?"
Look confused.
Look surprised they're even asking.
Smile.
Let it roll off your tongue like it has so many times before.
"Of course."
Don't cry.
Dont cry God ******.
"What have you eaten today?"
Think of foods.
Think of foods fast.
Blurt out the first words that come to mind like you're on a gameshow and you're about to win first prize if you can just tell them what you had for dinner.
It all becomes second nature;
After so long of wearing masks
You forget how to wear your real face.
You don't know what's under the mask
You don't remember.
"Don't let them in,
Don't let them see"
Good thing I don't remember how to.
I've painted this smile on my face day after day
I don't know if the paint will come off anymore.