You are the only one to blame for all of this...
I am ****** because of you.
Death sings through my veins now.
You were supposed to take care of me
and look... what have you done...
Your eyes locked me in bitter sweet flames.
For what? Tell me? If we weren't meant to be anyway…
Your charming ability to disarm me even when I'm in a burst mode...
I don't know why you still have that power...
It is so unfair!
Why can't I set myself free from this cruel torment?
Make it easier and end all of this once and for all.
The right moment will never come anyway...
Didn't I suffer enough already?
What is holding you?
Sick devotion?
I don't love you. I don't hate you either, but I should…
I hate myself for not hating you!
Sometimes I wonder…
What would you do if the nightmare would kiss your loved ones...
Would you be capable to finish your original task looking into my eyes?
Your intentions are the only foggy lines in your mind that I can't reach.
I am a hopeless walking corpse spreading ashes where ever I go…
My Essence will always belong to you,
cause of the infection in my soul...
I am thirsty. I need electricity. You know that. What should I do?
Guide me. Do something right for once.
Your flesh should pay for the state that you left me in.
Empty and cursed.
Floating in a tasteless life, day by day,
knowing…
no one can bring me back to life, like you used to...
Why are you still here?
Go away.
Go while you can.
It will become very ugly soon or later.
No one, not even you will be able to make it stop.
Just go.


© Christina Philipe