the best memory I have of you is when we were both laying down in your bed and it was 8 o'clock at night and your parents went to the gym. You plugged in the Christmas lights you had in your room which I always thought was the most beautiful thing to see because you looked up and stared out the window and for a moment I saw you day dream and smile and it made me the happiest person to see you look so beautiful and happy under those lights. I turned on the indie/alternative station on my phone and when I went to lay on your bed you were there waiting to lay in my arms. I wrapped my arms around you and kissed your forehead because at this very moment I knew what I want in life, I saw my whole future and it was being spent with you. As we both stared at the ceiling you asked me “do you think I would be a good mom?” And without hesitation I said “Hell yea!, no one can compare to you” you simply turned red and smiled and laid back into my arms. A few minutes passed and you ask me again another question “why won’t you ever cry in front of me?” I stood in time, and not because it was a odd question but because I knew the answer to it. I smiled at you and replied “because I have nothing to be sad about when you’re around” you quickly but softly looked at me and told me ‘that wasn’t enough’ so I continued to tell you that when I’m around you I feel so free and happy like nothing can phase me, the only time I cry is when I think about how my parents abandoned me…I soon could feel tears fill my eyes but started to wipe them away before you saw but it was too late. You moved my hand and told me to keep going and don’t hold back, so I did but this time I was different. I told you that even though my parents chose different paths without me didn’t mean I was gonna let them bring me down, and when we have kids I will love them with all my heart and be there whenever they needed me, I was gonna be the best ******* parent ever. I didn’t realize it but when I looked down at you your eyes were filled with tears and your face was so red and you quickly hid your face with your hands because you hated the way you looked when you cried but funny thing is I never saw you cry either. I pulled your hands down and whispered to you

“keep going, don’t hold back.”