Sunday, August 23, 2015 9:15AM

Today I left with my bags unpacked.
My room was a display of clutter, just like the thoughts in my head,
And the mess I refused to sweep under my bed.
I apologize for having to leave at such short notice,
For not informing you and for departing as the dishes towered,
And as the chores multiplied into a list made for one to get rid of.
I made sure that I would keep things that I saw as they were,
Maybe somehow you would remember me by the mess and what occurred.
That I did not have everything figured out, that I was still your little girl.
To the friends I talked, the best friends I poured my heart out,
And to the people who walked, passed me as I cloaked my thoughts,
I'm sorry for leaving you hanging, for not explaining and for not answering,
For not picking up the phone and replying to text messages.
By now, I guess you should be used to it,
That I have been practicing this magic trick where I disappear.
Maybe tonight, I will walk down this road,
And actually feel my shoulders move with ease.
My fingers will not curl from carrying the heavy load, not anymore,
And my soles will feel the warmth of the asphalt concrete,
Instead of the tiles where my slits and scars were formed.
I will be away for awhile, let's say it was a trip, unannounced,
And I was not able to prepare beforehand.
I am just following where they are taking me,
Whether it's in another city, country or a place of free.
Just remember that, what will be, will be.
Whether or not I will return from this journey.

n.j.