i bounce my leg
and tap my fingers incessantly on my desk.
my friends stare sharply into my eyes,
and wonder why i cannot stop.
my hands fidget in my lap,
and my heart pounds with every breath.
my mind is millions of racing atoms,
colliding and driving me insane.
i cannot control my thoughts,
the way they swirl and ache in my brain.
the nervous energy that vibrates inside me,
drags me past normality and
holds me in front of hysteria.
i will never be like everyone else,
i’m just not wired that way.