i saw you
i saw you before you saw me,
bright red hair cut short
(it looked better long, but then i was your best friend
and hurting your feelings was this taboo)
grey sweatshirt on.
i saw you in the coolidge corner lights
and i remembered why i love loved you.
you weren’t beautiful,
you weren’t special.
your face wasn’t--
um, correct? it doesn’t piece together
but you,
you, at five foot something under five,
you stand out like a sore thumb,
screaming “lovemelovemeloveme” like ****** ******
and i listen.
and ******* i love you--
i loved you like i keep secrets,
storing them away for a rainy day when i’m bored
and want to play
and i love you like i regret losing a friend
because of those rainy days,
pain prickling at my heart, my eyes
so that when it’s sunny,
i have my own personal rain shower.
so when i saw you,
when i saw you,
all bright and broken in the streetlights,
i turned my face,
bracing my heart because you always make it break.
but jesus christ,
you always manage to see me, too.