We have words in our hearts,
That will never be free.
Like my biggest secret
is that I gave my parents PTSD.
How ******.
That I hurt people who love me.
And I love them,
but did you really love them?
Yes.
Sometimes it's not like that.
See, we love people the best we know how.
And sometimes that doesn't feel good.
Like every time the house whispers,
my mom wakes from a dead sleep,
wondering if I'm still alive,
and why this is her life?
Or how she used to go to the grocery store,
an hour away from home.
in hopes she wouldn't run into some body
That maybe she'd know.
For the fear she'd have to explain,
her daughters in the loony bin,
but she's not insane.
Just off the deep end.
So I could dive.
Right into my life.
Head over feet,
So if I were a bed,
all you'd see were the sheets.
Like if I were a mirror,
I'd be a piece of glass.
So you could see right through
so I could show you my last cast,
with the fishing line of my life,
how all I could do was hold on tight.
And hope that my dad strung the pole right.
When I was 7, I caught a fish.
But he said to throw
it back so it could grow.
And little did I know,
that he just wanted it to get stronger.
So it could believe in itself,
that it could breathe above the water.
That just because I was sinking,
didn't mean that I would Drown.