I've been burning cigarette incense to ward off the hunger spirits
I've been drinking pure poison to try to **** the butterflies in my stomach
I've been relying on saying cheap cliches and terse, trite platitudes to avoid speaking of how I really am
I've been trying to stitch words together to make constellations or at least to make sense of everything or anything

I've been sleeping in the oddest of places if at all
I've been aching
I've been wasting money and myself


I've been better than this.