Who knew… (Part 1)

Such a day would come
Where I find myself feeling guilty, alone and burdened by memories of you
Of us..
I did I best to be your girl and then one day your wife
At the tender age of 19
What did I know back then?
But it had been one of the best days of my life
I never looked back since
I thought my life had been set
But soon enough problems began to trickle into our small perfectly built-up world

The voice you so dearly loved and longed to hear over the phone suddenly sounded too shrill to you and annoyed you out of your mind
The eyes you looked into so deeply at times had soon turned into a sickening shade of purple—which you say was just the result of anger
The lips you so tenderly locked with your own—was ripped and bleeding
The body you loved to kiss and caress all of sudden repulsed and one fine day you decided that it would now serve as your new punching bag

Swinging to the left, then to the right
Punching up then down
You did what you thought was right
To see me so small and broken forcibly pushed to the corner
Brought you immense pleasure, to this day I cannot imagine why
Everything I did angered you
Nothing was ever good enough and everything was always flawed
My words were just useless noises filling up the air
Conversation had turned into torture
Every minute I spent with you lasted longer than the previous one
But living under the same roof was unbearable

Can you imagine, everything took place in the same house I had so lovingly decorated to my heart’s content
The place I spend my first days as a newly married bride
Was now broken and unrecognizable
The walls that once bared memories was now artfully decorated with holes from the endless hours of fighting
Streaked with blood from a sucker punch or kick one too many
Furniture we had bough to together now lay ruined and in pieces from the strength you didn’t know you had
Clothes which had selected for me with artistic eye and keen sense of fashion often ended ripped and torn from your groping hands and angry fits
The jewelry you surprised me with when traveling one of the many places in the world (Paris/Rome/Mexico/) now glittered in a thousand broken shiny pieces

But I picked myself up and shook everything off
Thinking that this was fate and what we were going through was just a rough patch and that hopefully one day everything would go back to normal
I took a deep breath and move forward
Never letting my patience waver or my temper rise
And helped you to your feet

I listened to your worries
I shared your burdens
I basked in your glory
I loved you when you were feeling down
And supported you during your times of need

But what did all that do
Our happiness was always so short-lived
For days to a month at home
Until the vicious cycle began all over again