The heat burns—
Like fire beneath the surface,
            Coursing through my veins,
            Tainting everything it touches—
                        Crimson-coloring my face.

Once contained, now slowly breaks free
Anger, to the point of
Pain.
            It thrashes—
            Wanting to be released,
            To engulf everything
                                    From crown
                                    To spine—
                                    The ***** of my feet
                        I'm on fire.

The inferno of my thoughts
Overwhelm me
            Screaming, it's your fault
                        Not your fault, mine
                        I did this, this is me.

Two roads, a choice—
            MY choice.
                        To give the power to break me
                      
My wall crumbling to insignificant pieces
With every word, from the lips
That had to be truth.

Each gaze into bottomless eyes,
            Getting lost in midnight.

The endless patterns traced gently on his skin
            By my fingertips

Holding his comforting hands,
With the touch that warmed my heart


Consciously giving him control.
            Back when he wanted me.

I could have stopped this
            Before it was too late.

Before the hardening of his eyes
            That lied more convincingly than
The tenor of his voice,

Before his touch grew cold and distant
As the eyes and lips that no longer
Belong to me—
Longed for me.

The decision—
            To let it go.
The consequence—
            To burn.

But time, it heals—
            A balm, to the heat—
            I smolder.
            Once livid, it lessens.

In the recesses of my mind
            Festering—
The fire is there,
                      
As my aloe heals,
At it's deliberate pace—
          
With each tick of the second hand,
            The self-inflicted blaze crawls closer
To the end,
The day when the flame licks it's last wound—
The day freed from a personal purgatory.

Time is my companion.