they said, “close your eyes
and imagine darkness. fathom unfathomable pain,”
so i did.

and long after my eyes were open, i remained
unable to see my hand held in front of my face

i continued to allow that darkness to envelop me,
clinging to every part of me

it’s stench seeping into my clothes, my hair
have you ever been unsure of whether your eyes were open or closed?

i felt you there, my hands numb from gripping and dragging for so long
taking with me two-hundred pounds of resistance

(“please, let go,” you whispered)

i did not hear you, but do you remember the day when my arms gave out?
when i am not hunched over, i stand much taller