Am I even alive
Is this skin paper thin

Cuts and bruises I'm living in
And lust for women I've given in

That's what's killed me
Chasing you off that cliff to my death

I love to hate it helps me love less
But less time I had to do it because it was way too late

I had already jumped trying to catch you
But now how are we going to escape

I guess you had a parachute
I didn't see that s* before

And neither did you let me know
So I went splat....

And ironically
You turned into a ghost

the words
that my mind are
bringing me
is probably
killing me

will I say the right thing?
or am I ******* it all up?
am I going to
be a ******* mess?
or will I be put together?
why am I worrying
about words
that haven't even had a chance
to come out of my mouth yet?

the pain
that is behind
all the happiness
hurts less
than faking
my smile.

I want to be a little crazy.
I want to be crazy beautiful.
I want to be beautifully creative.
I want to be creatively inspiring.
I want to inspire those who want to be a little crazy.

My heart still beats though it's dead a little bit
She only pays attention to me if I play dead for a little bit

But when I spring to life
She chases who's dead a little bit

She can always tell
Because he only replies for a little bit

I've played that game  before
Only replying for a little bit

Leaving her with questions....
I hope he likes me a little bit

It makes her care a lot
But they'll only be together for a little bit

Because she pushes when he pulls
Leaving him hurt a for little bit

So now he's given up
Leaving him dead a little bit

Will that ever change?
I don't know

I'm dying. Not dead.
Just a little bit.

my love began in lies.
a web of what-ifs i wove to fall in when the sun refused to shine,
and the string of loveless red around my ankle no longer feels the pull and tug of possibility.

and i yearn for the kiss that would
fracture time.
like an itch i can't scratch,
like trying to make ice in an oven.
i then see my love lies limp.

wound in my web, venom in my veins, hung by the noose of love's insane.