I don't think I could ever get the words just right
so I guess I'll just stick with
I love you
But oh my dear,
Those are just the start of what you do to my heart

i want to wrap you in my love
breathe in our warmth
melt in your arms

i used to think i was in love
but the depths of that ocean were dangerous
the surfaces were calm and peaceful
but the further i plunged
the darker it got
i became ensnared in the trappings and twistings of you
the storms were always on the horizons
but you convinced that this was how love was
love didn't equal trust

but oh, darling how i've learned to swim in much sweeter waters
the storms are never brewing
the depths are translucent and clean
because
he is much better than you

I may have lied to you
I am very sorry
I didn't mean to
But after I said it
I realized I was wrong
Because I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that
I want you
Forever

there's a cave inside of me
dark and dripping in blackness
it's where i run and hide
when life comes crashing down
some may find it lonely
but don't worry, darling
the echo of my screams and strangled cries
soothe my tears away

I promise you my name has never sounded so lovely until it was on your lips

Sometimes I feel like I've come so far
that I forget how easy it is to fall
down
down
down
to the pit of despair

oh my darling,
i would give you the stars
i would give you the oceans
and all the creatures in the forest
i would build you a universe
full of all the things that make you happy

but oh my darling,
all i have to give you is
my love
my heart
and all you have is
your love
and heart
and that is all i'll ever need
i love every inch

i love you
and ill stay forever
because i figured out what i needed
what i always wanted
is you

There's a war in my head
And it won't shut up
I just want to make it stop
But I'm trapped behind the words and the lies
I just want to feel good enough

i like to write in metaphors
but you're the one
i can't grasp
i just can't seem to find anything good enough to compare to you
my words fail me
and it occurs to me that all that is left
are my emotions swimming inside

i had forgotten what it felt like
the rush
the endless laughter
the smell of you on me
the look you give
the heat of your skin on mine
the way my heart feels
and i wonder how i ever forgot

You're just talking faces
Your eyes are blind
Your ears do not hear
You continue to talk at me
Never seeing the pain your causing
Never hearing the words I'm speaking
So I've learned to stay quiet
Leave my feelings deep inside
Because you're just talking faces

I'm going to be honest, my sweet love
I never meant to fall in love with you
But as soon as I started falling,
I couldn't stop
Like a downward pull of an ocean current
The waters of your love fills up my lungs
And I promise you,
They are the sweetest breaths I have ever taken

sometimes i forget what it was like to not be in love with you
that's when i become quite cynical
rolled my eyes at romance novels
flipped the channel when any romantic comedy dared to come on
skipped all my favorite love songs
i almost was engulfed in rage when movies ended sappy
i shunned the romance out of my life just like i shunned you
i was quite angry, you see
because i was never really not in love with you
i knew what all those movies and books and songs were professing
and although sometimes they can be quite dramatic i knew some form of that love was
real
oh, so very real
and now i revel in it every day
it wraps me up and keeps me warm
i breathe it in and it infuses with my skin
and i almost forget how i tried to fool myself about not being in love with you

my first and my last
my forever and always

sometimes I feel like
jealousy
is engraved in me
like feeling
less than
is how I'm supposed to feel
these thoughts ****** me
until I'm drunk with sadness

The confusion in my heart is weighing me down
It's filling my body
My brain is giving up
The fog is too thick
My heart is too heavy

the sigh of a feather reminds me of the color of your eyes

I miss you more than words can say

My love for you fills my chest with warmth and sleepy comfort

Somehow I'm living without you

But is it really living when you're not beside me?

I want to breathe you in
and know every inch of you
The deep thoughts in your mind you keep so hidden, guarded up and locked away
I want to know them all
Oh my dear, my love, my everything
Let me swim in your oceans
Unlock the gates
and make you mine forever

I feel as if I'm wearing a t shirt soaked in my past sadness
Always slightly weighing me down
I don't want my past to be the whole sum of me
But it seems like all the numbers are adding up quite nicely

you make me want to write poetry
and paint the sky with this feeling inside
breathe in your heartbeat
run through the clouds
and swim through the ocean of you
this time I'm never letting go
because now I know
there's only one you
only one of this feeling
the only one who makes me want to write poetry

If I am the ocean, you are my moon
With each rise of my tide, my love grows for you
There's not anyone who knows how to pull me in quite like you
Because you see, I believe I was made for you
And you for me
And with each moonrise, I feel the pulling of gravity push me closer to you
My ocean heart skips a beat
The waves come crashing
And one day, my love, we won't be so far
The glistening of my waves will be yours
And the radiance of you will be mine

I could hold you close to me forever
Feel the beat of your heart against mine
Perfectly in sync
Filled with love
Joy
I am finally complete

my time before you was a blur
full of darkness
full of tears
being 'in love' was a blood stricken war
waged with myself
because i was never quite enough

but you fill me up with love and joy
and all those years i spent
wasting away, clinging to the dread that lived inside my head
all fade away
i'd do it all over again if i had to
because you are worth it all
every fight and every tear

i am neither here nor there
but i think of you everywhere

i don't like capital letters
their formal figures towering over the others
belittling
mocking
always looking down upon
oh, capital letters
i am tired of you saying i am not good enough
because i know why you hold your nose so high
it's so that you can't smell the rotting of your soul

I love the way our names rhyme
Right down to our nicknames
Maybe I'm being a romantic but I feel like it's a sign
A sign that we cannot part
Because everything we say and do is in the perfect iambic pentameter
Measured so fittingly together
In perfect harmony
In a lovely melody
A cadence and rhythm I know all the words to
An overwhelming happiness I can live my life to

I love to watch the sunrise
The yellow gold of the sun
Reminds me of the
Yellow gold in your eyes
Each day renewed with the shining of the sun
Each day my love renewes with the shining of your eyes

i can breathe you in forever
i missed your smell
your taste
the pounding in my chest
your arms around me
i searched for you in all the wrong places
all the wrong people
i was just trying to find a glimpse of you
but now you're mine again
and my heart is all yours

inadequecy
will be the death of me

i like to turn off my frontal lobe
let my amygdala and limbic lobe start screaming
let them ooze their tears
feel each and every stab
i know it's irrational
maybe it's a little self destructive
but the numbness is always worse than every scar they have caused me
because you see my frontal lobe likes to make me an empty shell
it likes for me to pull away from the pain
and let the darkness eat me alive

my heart is filled with thoughts of you
with each breath, my lungs are filled with love
you interrupt my every thought
i crave your touch
my lips need to feel the breath of yours
baby, i don't know what you've done to me
but i'm enjoying every second

You give me the words I've always wanted to say
The feelings I thought I'd never deserve
The pure and sweet honesty I've always craved
And to simply put it,
my dear,
You are my everything

the difference between being in your life
and
being a part of your life
is like the difference between
a pond and a lake
you just know it when you see it
and i just know it when i feel it

you are my song
the beat to my heart
the rhythm in my step
the happiness in my laughter

I love to watercolor paint
To watch one color bleed into another
Because that's really what we all are
Bleeding hearts
Waiting for another color to come along
To bleed into
And make the perfect shade of an in between color

Have you ever felt so free
Almost like you were on fire
Like you have the oceans to yourself to swim and explore
Like the clouds were yours
Like every breath of air felt like precious gifts of life and you just want to scream with joy

Because if you haven't
I want you to have mine

There once was a boy with summer sky colored eyes.
His mouth was made of wild raspberries.
His laugh of falling leaves.
He fell in love with a girl with trees in her eyes.

There was once was a girl with trees in her eyes.
Her mouth was made of rosebuds.
Her laugh of rushing waterfall.
She fell in love with a boy with summer sky colored eyes.

His hands were made of water.
When he touched her,
Her strawberry heart grew.
And grew.
And grew.
And grew.
She bathed in his summer eyes.
She tasted his wild raspberries
And always wanted more.
She danced in his falling leaves.

She lived to see the sunshine sparkle in those summer eyes.
To feel his water hands
Ingulf her in his sea.

But then the summer sky eyes filled with icy snow.
Her strawberry heart gave a sorrowful squeeze.

He told her he had to leave.

But he told her he would be back.
He kissed her rosebud mouth one last time.

And flew away.

The trees died.
The rosebuds stopped blooming.
The waterfall stopped rushing.
The strawberry heart grew still and quiet.

She looked.
And looked.
And looked.
And looked
For those summer sky eyes.

She saw
The deep blue of oceans,
The emptiness of a cloud covered night sky,
And honey filled hives.
Even green colored lemon trees.
But never the color of summer sky.

She thought they were gone forever.

But he was her forever.

He flew back to her.

She saw the summer eyes again,
When she thought she had stopped looking.
Her trees shook with raindrops.
His water hands engulfed her.
She felt the pulsing of his waves.
He said "I told you I would come back to you."

And she floated in his summer sky eyes forever.

I know it's your fault
You even said it

But then why do I feel like this
Like sadness is dropping off my body as if I'm drenched in sweaty sorrow
Like I'm drowning in my own self hate as if I'm the one holding my own head down under my own self pity

Because a part of me
Feels like
I couldn't even keep you
Interested enough

I used to hate making decisions
Well, until I met you
Because you see, I never knew where I was going
I'd think I found my path
And then guess what?
Surprise, surprise there'd be a fork in the road
The pressure to choose would eat me alive
The water would rise above my head until finally at the last second I would find my way again

And then
I met you
With your all your love I love to swim in
And your careful words filled with honesty and truth
And with your soft kisses
Because oh, when you kiss me,
I promise I've never felt so beautiful

And now I know where I'm going
I know that all the paths that I've choosen have all led up to
You

i miss you
so much
it's almost
*paralyzing

I'll love you for as long as
Snape loved Lily