I could write you a million love poems
But I still don't think they would be able to capture the feelings in my chest
Because when I look at you
words suddenly fail me
And my heart is at a loss
Because I don't know how I ever lived without you
And now I don't ever want to
Because you're the answer to my questions
The beginning of the end
You
Are
Mine
And I'll want that forever

I want know how you love me
When I'm a complete mess
Stitches barely hanging on
Standing at the edge of the dark valley I just clambered out of
Tear streaked cheeks
The smell of sadness still clinging to my clothes
The echo of those evil words still ring in my head
And you're all wrapped perfectly
So put together
I feel selfish to have you
I feel selfish for burdening you with me

I don't think I've ever met someone as special as you
You could hold my heart forever
You're filled with tender sweetness  
You're my refuge
You're my greatest adventure
You're only made up of kindness
You're the missing joy in my life
Your very existence fascinates me
You're
You
And quite frankly I couldn't imagine anyone better

i still see the scars left behind
hidden in the deep folds of my mind

my instincts are telling me to pull away
but I just want to stay

sometimes i forget what it was like to not be in love with you
that's when i become quite cynical
rolled my eyes at romance novels
flipped the channel when any romantic comedy dared to come on
skipped all my favorite love songs
i almost was engulfed in rage when movies ended sappy
i shunned the romance out of my life just like i shunned you
i was quite angry, you see
because i was never really not in love with you
i knew what all those movies and books and songs were professing
and although sometimes they can be quite dramatic i knew some form of that love was
real
oh, so very real
and now i revel in it every day
it wraps me up and keeps me warm
i breathe it in and it infuses with my skin
and i almost forget how i tried to fool myself about not being in love with you

my heart is filled with thoughts of you
with each breath, my lungs are filled with love
you interrupt my every thought
i crave your touch
my lips need to feel the breath of yours
baby, i don't know what you've done to me
but i'm enjoying every second

I love to watch the sunrise
The yellow gold of the sun
Reminds me of the
Yellow gold in your eyes
Each day renewed with the shining of the sun
Each day my love renewes with the shining of your eyes

my time before you was a blur
full of darkness
full of tears
being 'in love' was a blood stricken war
waged with myself
because i was never quite enough

but you fill me up with love and joy
and all those years i spent
wasting away, clinging to the dread that lived inside my head
all fade away
i'd do it all over again if i had to
because you are worth it all
every fight and every tear

inadequecy
will be the death of me

i can breathe you in forever
i missed your smell
your taste
the pounding in my chest
your arms around me
i searched for you in all the wrong places
all the wrong people
i was just trying to find a glimpse of you
but now you're mine again
and my heart is all yours

you were the sweetest man to live
your kindness
your happiness
your love
radiated from your body
I bet Death smiled when he kissed your lips and took your last breath
because even he felt your love

the difference between being in your life
and
being a part of your life
is like the difference between
a pond and a lake
you just know it when you see it
and i just know it when i feel it

i am neither here nor there
but i think of you everywhere

Oh, my love, what I would do to feel the satin of your lips and the taste of your tongue

i want to wrap you in my love
breathe in our warmth
melt in your arms

you are my song
the beat to my heart
the rhythm in my step
the happiness in my laughter

sometimes I feel like
jealousy
is engraved in me
like feeling
less than
is how I'm supposed to feel
these thoughts ****** me
until I'm drunk with sadness

There's a war in my head
And it won't shut up
I just want to make it stop
But I'm trapped behind the words and the lies
I just want to feel good enough

I want to capture this feeling in a tiny glass vial
And send it you
And maybe when you get it
You can have a little taste
And maybe if I'm lucky
You'll say
You feel it too

I love the sound of your voice
The way you say my name is heaven
Your laugh is the ever constant warmth of the sun
I want to hide in all the lows
Climb all the highs
Your voice is mine to hear forever  
It twines around my heart
And with every beat is love for the sound of you

oh my darling,
i would give you the stars
i would give you the oceans
and all the creatures in the forest
i would build you a universe
full of all the things that make you happy

but oh my darling,
all i have to give you is
my love
my heart
and all you have is
your love
and heart
and that is all i'll ever need
i love every inch

The words are stuck in my head
And every time I try to get them out
To ask for help
My mouth becomes a trap door
Shut tight
A black hole
With so much inside
That nothing can get out

my first and my last
my forever and always

i miss the towering, snowcapped mountains
the blue of your eyes
the chill in the air
the warmth of your hands

i love you
and ill stay forever
because i figured out what i needed
what i always wanted
is you

I want to breathe you in
and know every inch of you
The deep thoughts in your mind you keep so hidden, guarded up and locked away
I want to know them all
Oh my dear, my love, my everything
Let me swim in your oceans
Unlock the gates
and make you mine forever

My chest is filled with black
But is it filled with black?
Or is it so empty it's black?
I can't tell because
The blackness has spread to my head
And all my axons have stopped firing

I may have lied to you
I am very sorry
I didn't mean to
But after I said it
I realized I was wrong
Because I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt that
I want you
Forever

i miss you more than words can say
more than the stars miss the moon
more than grass miss the rain
more than you could ever imagine

I promise you my name has never sounded so lovely until it was on your lips

Sometimes I feel like I've come so far
that I forget how easy it is to fall
down
down
down
to the pit of despair

the sigh of a feather reminds me of the color of your eyes

i don't like capital letters
their formal figures towering over the others
belittling
mocking
always looking down upon
oh, capital letters
i am tired of you saying i am not good enough
because i know why you hold your nose so high
it's so that you can't smell the rotting of your soul

my heart goes out to you
1,000 miles away
i hope it wraps you up
in warmth and love
i hope you smile bright
when you picture my face
and remember my laugh

I've started to feel you pull away
You're a leaky sink
Slowly but surely leaving me behind
drip drop
my heart is silently breaking
drip drop
I don't know how to stop this
drip drop
I think there's something wrong with my faucet
Because no matter how hard I twist there's always the drip drop of you

i love the sound of the rain and the smell of you

I love to watercolor paint
To watch one color bleed into another
Because that's really what we all are
Bleeding hearts
Waiting for another color to come along
To bleed into
And make the perfect shade of an in between color

Have you ever felt so free
Almost like you were on fire
Like you have the oceans to yourself to swim and explore
Like the clouds were yours
Like every breath of air felt like precious gifts of life and you just want to scream with joy

Because if you haven't
I want you to have mine

There once was a boy with summer sky colored eyes.
His mouth was made of wild raspberries.
His laugh of falling leaves.
He fell in love with a girl with trees in her eyes.

There was once was a girl with trees in her eyes.
Her mouth was made of rosebuds.
Her laugh of rushing waterfall.
She fell in love with a boy with summer sky colored eyes.

His hands were made of water.
When he touched her,
Her strawberry heart grew.
And grew.
And grew.
And grew.
She bathed in his summer eyes.
She tasted his wild raspberries
And always wanted more.
She danced in his falling leaves.

She lived to see the sunshine sparkle in those summer eyes.
To feel his water hands
Ingulf her in his sea.

But then the summer sky eyes filled with icy snow.
Her strawberry heart gave a sorrowful squeeze.

He told her he had to leave.

But he told her he would be back.
He kissed her rosebud mouth one last time.

And flew away.

The trees died.
The rosebuds stopped blooming.
The waterfall stopped rushing.
The strawberry heart grew still and quiet.

She looked.
And looked.
And looked.
And looked
For those summer sky eyes.

She saw
The deep blue of oceans,
The emptiness of a cloud covered night sky,
And honey filled hives.
Even green colored lemon trees.
But never the color of summer sky.

She thought they were gone forever.

But he was her forever.

He flew back to her.

She saw the summer eyes again,
When she thought she had stopped looking.
Her trees shook with raindrops.
His water hands engulfed her.
She felt the pulsing of his waves.
He said "I told you I would come back to you."

And she floated in his summer sky eyes forever.

I know it's your fault
You even said it

But then why do I feel like this
Like sadness is dropping off my body as if I'm drenched in sweaty sorrow
Like I'm drowning in my own self hate as if I'm the one holding my own head down under my own self pity

Because a part of me
Feels like
I couldn't even keep you
Interested enough

I used to hate making decisions
Well, until I met you
Because you see, I never knew where I was going
I'd think I found my path
And then guess what?
Surprise, surprise there'd be a fork in the road
The pressure to choose would eat me alive
The water would rise above my head until finally at the last second I would find my way again

And then
I met you
With your all your love I love to swim in
And your careful words filled with honesty and truth
And with your soft kisses
Because oh, when you kiss me,
I promise I've never felt so beautiful

And now I know where I'm going
I know that all the paths that I've choosen have all led up to
You

i miss you
so much
it's almost
*paralyzing

I'll love you for as long as
Snape loved Lily