Last night I dreamed I was holding onto you,
I could feel my arms losing you as
my eyes fluttered awake.
I missed you immediately.
I wish you were here

I never expected to feel you with me when you left.
I didn’t think texting and talking on the phone would keep us close.
But when I get a text, I feel happy.
When the X-files theme song begins to play I can’t cut it off quick enough and answer.
It’s still there.
Even though I can’t see you,
I still love you.







I do actually pray I will see you again.

I still want our’s to be the story
that could be written as a romance novel.
I still hope that 5 years from now,
when we’re both done with college,
starting our lives for real
that you’ll think of me.
And we can finally be together.
We’d buy a cute little house,
get a cute little dog and get married.
We would travel and workout together.
Do projects around the house,
have breakfast before work at the table.
I still want that.

I thought I was gonna make
it through just one day without crying.
But the tears managed to squeeze out
of the corner of my eyes as I tried to
fall asleep.
Sliding down my cheek and soaking
into my pillow,
leaving a black smudge from leftover
mascara.
I still love him.
I’m afraid I always will.

I don’t want to let you in
because I already know how it ends.

I imagined sitting beside him.
Leaned against his shoulder,
laughing about something.
I felt like I was home again.
I don’t know how to move on from that.
I feel lonely and scared around other people
because my person isn’t there.
I don’t feel safe without him.

I had a dream about you.
I know you were there although
I can’t remember your face.
But I felt it in my heart when I woke up alone.