I never expected to feel you with me when you left.
I didn’t think texting and talking on the phone would keep us close.
But when I get a text, I feel happy.
When the X-files theme song begins to play I can’t cut it off quick enough and answer.
It’s still there.
Even though I can’t see you,
I still love you.







I do actually pray I will see you again.

I still want our’s to be the story
that could be written as a romance novel.
I still hope that 5 years from now,
when we’re both done with college,
starting our lives for real
that you’ll think of me.
And we can finally be together.
We’d buy a cute little house,
get a cute little dog and get married.
We would travel and workout together.
Do projects around the house,
have breakfast before work at the table.
I still want that.

I thought I was gonna make
it through just one day without crying.
But the tears managed to squeeze out
of the corner of my eyes as I tried to
fall asleep.
Sliding down my cheek and soaking
into my pillow,
leaving a black smudge from leftover
mascara.
I still love him.
I’m afraid I always will.

I don’t want to let you in
because I already know how it ends.

I imagined sitting beside him.
Leaned against his shoulder,
laughing about something.
I felt like I was home again.
I don’t know how to move on from that.
I feel lonely and scared around other people
because my person isn’t there.
I don’t feel safe without him.

I had a dream about you.
I know you were there although
I can’t remember your face.
But I felt it in my heart when I woke up alone.

It was a warm spring night.
She lay on her bed, one leg half under the sheet.
She wore a teal night gown, the color her mother said matched her skin tone.
The space fan whirred in the corner,
the tv casting color into the dark room.
But it felt quiet, for once in her life.
The only voice she could hear would be her own.
So she spoke.
“It will be okay.”