I didn't feel single until now even though the break up was 5 months ago.
I've been emotionally invested in someone else and dealing with all the same pain that relationships can bring.

I feel free again. The world has that new car smell. The seasons are changing, winter is coming and the end of this long, strange year is upon us.
But don't tell me to put myself out there because there's now a sign outside the door of my heart that reads,
NO TRESPASSING!
And the door won't be opening again until there's a warm spring breeze that gets through the cracks.

I'm looking forward to spending time with me on snowy nights, cuddled up on the couch watching a Christmas movie.
I look forward to getting to know me better.

“what are we?” she asked

with despair, he replied, ”we’re nothing”

My dad came over yesterday to fix my garbage disposal.
I think he could tell by the lack of smiling and my tone of voice that I was upset.
So he asked, "how have you been? How are things with that guy you were hanging out with?"
I replied, "there's nothing left to say about that, but I'm pretty bummed out."
He told me he's sorry and if I want to talk that he's around.
I just said thanks and hugged him.
I don't want to talk about it anymore. I have talked about it so much that even I'm sick of it.
I hate that I even mentioned him to my parents, I waited 6 months before I ever did and that was a mistake but I used to think he was worth bringing up.
Oh how wrong I was.

You know what ***** the most is knowing that some day he will give a girl the chance I wish I had.
I wasn't worth it but some totally uninteresting girl who wears American eagle and who is probably a nursing assistant with a kid from a previous relationship will be.
She will be prettier than me in the traditional sense but there's nothing unique about her.
She won't write or paint or play an instrument but she will make an excellent wife.
I bet her name would be something like Marissa.
Yuck.

I can try to convince myself that I'm just angry but really I just miss you.