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Chameleon Jun 2016
I dream of seeing these desperate feelings on real tangible paper one day.
Dream of being beautiful one day.
To someone who is dying to marry me.
Dream of being so much more than this girl who drinks alone on Friday nights.
Just dream. All the ******* time.
Do you?
Chameleon Jun 2016
There's a ******* fly that is taunting me in my living room.
I can't get the chance to **** it.
I'm on my second drink, and I'm bummed out that I'm alone.

I'm getting pretty toasted.
And yeah, it doesn't take much.
A joint would be great.
Sorry, I can't finish this poem.
I'm distracted by this documentary I'm watching about Janis Joplin.

I wish I could sleep.
But I hate being in this apartment alone.
Chameleon Jun 2016
I don't know how to sleep in this empty apartment anymore.
I'm so used to him being here.
I get tired just sitting next to him.
But when he isn't, it's like I could stay up til the sun rises.
Chameleon May 2016
There's an energy in the air in this town.
Who wants to work when the sun is beckoning you to come outside.
Chameleon May 2016
I don't think very many people could fully understand why I would love to shave off my hair.
I don't want to be bald,
just short short short.
I would cry.
I would feel happy.
And free.
The hair that's on my head has made me so unhappy for so long.
My whole life really.
That's why it's been every color, every length.
It's the source of my mental illness and a huge part of my daily struggle.
If it were just gone,
I would feel nothing but liberated.
I could start over.

And you might say, well do it.
But it's not that easy.
It would draw so much negative attention to me.
People might think I've gone crazy, or never stop staring.
And I'm afraid of what they'd think.
Shallow, but true.
I'm a 21 year old girl in 2016 when hair is everything.

But I dream about it. A lot.
Chameleon May 2016
You should never stop learning new things about yourself if you keep growing.
Keep changing, developing, expanding.

It's important to listen to different music,
watch documentaries and movies and TV shows, and read books that you may not think are for you.

They might be.
Chameleon May 2016
I wish I didn't have to turn into an earthquake,
a trembling, shaking mess.
Simply because I don't always know the answers.
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