Must it be this painful?

Eluding salvation;

Looming over but never in reach,

Ordinal mess;

Distraught.

Red, painted red;

Amidst a room tinted pitch-black;

Must it be this unbearable?

A burning feeling in my chest,

Thrashing.

Incandescent rotting;

Cut and bleed;

Cease and desist.

Analytical confusion;

Torn to shreds with an order.

Hapless;

A fuzzy head thought full yet thoughtless,

Roaming an abyss so quiet

Stars can be heard gushing through the wind.

Inevitable pleading;

Salavation, eluding.

Fazed;

Blacked out.

Woke up with scars,

Left from mindless spurs.

Yet blamed.

Though it is my fault.

I still don't know why I do this.

Now I'm just dragging other people down.

I try to make up for it;

The more I do the more I'll drag others deeper.

The more I become honest the more I destroy.

Erratic slashing,

Woken up by a stinging pain,

A nostalgic feeling.

Blacked out.

*Fazed.

I struggle to remember,
Just when it fell from my grasp,
The moment it slipped away,
Becoming something of the past

Maybe the noose was always there,
Just never tight enough to feel,
Maybe it just sat there,
Waiting for it's grand reveal

But now it strains hard upon my neck,
Making me choke on every word,
Now I use my silent voice,
Even though it's begging to be heard

It kills me to speak loud and clear,
My body rises in rebellion,
And my mind complys wordlessly,
Terrified of heaven.

The enemy angrily blasts it's guns,
Carelessly littering the battlefield,
As troops slowly creep foward

The blasting of every bullet,
Sends each solider to cling tighter,
To the untruthful idea of eternity

As if they could steal a forevermore,
With a metallic grasp,
Or even theif but one more breath

But at the blood red hands,
Of the envitable enemy,
They can never win

Whether they are gunned down in an instant,
Or slowly torn apart,
The enemy will triamph

We will all join the army of the fallen.