it wasn't until i was sitting
on the floor of my shower
hyperventilating your name into
              my hands when i realised

                         that

you were the air i struggled to
                         breathe

and i wasn't even the dirt
          under your ******* fingernails

you broke her; she apologized

​
tomorrow is just a dream away

I have died every day waiting for you

you can call it fate
or destiny
sometimes it really
seems like its a mystery
'cause you can be hurt
by love. and healed by
the same

Timing is everything

she locked all the doors
       closed the curtains
and clutched her knees close
       she rocked herself
back and forth
          crying to herself
    and scolding herself

why wasn't she what he wanted?
why wasn't she perfect?
why was she stupid enough to ever think that it was

                          love?

"you're beautiful"

"you're drunk"

What I had asked of you seemed
  impossible: the truth
and nothing else.  not tempered
but pure.  ice truth, hot truth
aching, sore, imperfect truth.

physically here

go as far as you can

he loves adventures

she was so artistic.
painting smiles on everyone's faces
but her own.

we will meet again
we will smile again

i've been strong for too long

the meds do nothing.

empty and distant.

you're trying to sleep.

if i love someone,



         they all leave me

is the

                                           ultimate mystic doorway
                                                                it
                                                             allows you



                                                                                 t  o

                                       d i s a p p e a r
                                                    i  n  t  o

                                          non-existence

                                                    against the backdrop of


                                                                                    eternity.

"Don't come near me," I said in a hushed tone.  
The footsteps stopped abruptly and he mumbled, "I'm sorry."  
I closed my eyes and answered, "That's not going to change anything."
"I know, and I'm sorry for leaving you.  I just-" he stopped abruptly, shuffling his feet, then continuing, "you wouldn't understand."
I let my tears slide down my cheeks as I replied, "You didn't try."  
He let out a exasperated sigh and answered, "I was stuck in the past; I didn't want to bring you in."
I turned toward him and whispered, "Is that a reason to leave me all alone?  To leave me to think that you would come back to me?  Was I foolish to think that you would come back to me one day and we'll be happy again?  Was I?" At the last words, I broke down into a puddle of tears, as he echoed the words that he had uttered before.  
"I'm sorry." 

"Don't come near me," I said in a hushed tone.  
The footsteps stopped abruptly and he mumbled, "I'm sorry."  
I closed my eyes and answered, "That's not going to change anything."
"I know, and I'm sorry for leaving you.  I just-" he stopped abruptly, shuffling his feet, then continuing, "you wouldn't understand."
I let my tears slide down my cheeks as I replied, "You didn't try."  
He let out a exasperated sigh and answered, "I was stuck in the past; I didn't want to bring you in."
I turned toward him and whispered, "Is that a reason to leave me all alone?  To leave me to think that you would come back to me?  Was I foolish to think that you would come back to me one day and we'll be happy again?  Was I?" At the last words, I broke down into a puddle of tears, as he echoed the words that he had uttered before.  
"I'm sorry."

you don’t get me
so you don’t get me

everyone leaves me

my father left me
when i was small
with my dying mother.

my mother left me
when i was in my
difficult time of
year: middle school.

my grandfather left me
because death took
him away from me.

my grandmother left me
because death wanted
more.

my friends left me
because they
found someone
better, smarter,
prettier than me.

he left me because
i wasn't good enough.

everyone leaves in the end,
        and i'm used to it.

i

you say i am made
of stardust but the truth is
i am starstruck by you

I would tell you that you were
beautiful but that is such an
understatement because your
beauty is indescribable

I just want to hold you tight
and
I'm never gonna let you go

holding on

why is everything so heavy

favorite color?
black

mirrors
are
just
glass
and
you
are
more
than
that

“she’s like broken glass.
        dangerous with sharp edges;*
                 *but beautifully complex”

i miss you

i miss you

i miss you

i write with my heart and soul on parchments in magic ink

rip to my youth

and this could be my funeral

i see the way you talk to her and it breaks me,

every single time.  

i see the way you smile at her and it makes me cry,

again and again.

i see the way you look at her,

and i just wish that was me.

maybe i don't really love you

                                                                               they say if you love someone
                                                                               you want them to be happy
                                                                               even if you're not the reason

you deserve to be happy
even if it's wither

you deserve to be happy

                                                                  but please


                                                                                          not in front of me

i know this love is
heading in the same direction
that's up

"die *****"


"you don't deserve to live"


"you're such a waste of space"


"why don't you just die?"




...