im not quite sure where i was actually headed with this one. im feeling like changing this is going to be an adventure through emotions and what was happening when i wrote this. i dont know if ill end up rewriting the whole thing.
i think i wrote this because i felt like the only way for me to express myself was through writing and i felt like i was becoming obsessed. i mean, its basically all i think about. words running through my mind at an inhumane speed. its silly really. i believe it was late when i wrote this, so dont take it to heart to much.

its easy to get obsessed,
maybe you're obsessed with a show,
or a musician.

but getting obsessed with writing?

it can hurt.

becomes it becomes your only way
to cope.
to stay sane.
to be okay.

and its hard to
open up to people
after writing for so long,
and having paper
be the one
who understands.

its hard to be truthful
about your feelings
and opinions
when writing them
and softly
stashing them into draws --
maybe books,
under your mattress,
is all you know.

i think its okay, but needs some work, my feelings might have been too strong to add more breaks so it flows better. that might be the first thing i do to see if its any better like that.

i ultimately have decided to only make some very small tweaks to this just so it flows better. after reading and staring at this piece for  longer than i should have, i think it doesn't matter if i entirely missed the point i was trying to make. i think i got my feelings out and its okay that its a bit messy.

i sat in the forest --
picking up leaves
and ripping them
in different ways,
different shapes
because everyone is different.

and they all break differently.

i picked a once green leaf
that was staring to brown
on the edges.

i ripped it
and it didn't break
slowly
like the others.

it just fell apart
in my hands.

but it made me look up at the
sunbeams
slipping between
the tall forest trees.

realising,
not everyone breaks slowly.

some people crumble and fall apart
all at once.

and that's okay.

i think its okay to let your feelings out however you need. and thats a big thing of mine. letting our feelings out. i believe its something we should all encourage and do. we all crumble differently and you shouldn't be told to hide your true emotions. i reckon my thought process with this was all over the place, though the outcome ended up being better, even if i eventually decided to leave most of it as it was.

i had a point with writing this and i feel as though i completely missed it. i felt upset that people didn't understand the way that i coped with situations and how they had affected me. and i tried to put it into words. it's just a big mess.

i sat in the forest,
picking up leaves
and ripping them
in different ways,
different shapes
because everyone is different.
and they all break differently.

i picked a once green leaf
that was staring to brown
on the edges.

i ripped it
and it didn't break
slowly.

it just fell apart
in my hands.

it made me look up at the
sunbeams
slipping between
the tall forest trees.

realising,
not everyone breaks slowly.

some people crumble and fall apart
all at once.

fixing this might take awhile but i know i need to swap out many words, and make it make sense. ill update you tomorrow on how it's going.

this is mysterie, on her second account.

this account will have unedited poems that will not be found on my main, this will also include insights to how i was feeling when i wrote this and why it's like that.

i wanted to share this on a separate account because i want tips and tricks to improve and i want to help others to improve.

accepting all constructive criticism.