You jumped.
I didnt think you would.
A straight drop.
Over thirteen hundred foot.

You jumped.
You've left me for real.
Now im stuck here,
Not knowing how to feel.

You jumped,
And with you
You took my heart,
Nothings the same now,
My worlds fallen apart.

You jumped,
Right to the bitter end,
Your in a better place now
Good luck to you my friend

                      ♡

if i am a writer, you are my pen
i find you, i use you again and again
and it isn’t fair to either of us when
your ink finally runs out
if i am a singer, you are my voice
i can’t help but need you, i don’t have a choice
and who’d think that i’d want to laugh and rejoice
when I find that you’re suddenly gone
if i am a painter, then you are my brush
i try to deny you, you tell me to hush
and who’d think that i’d ever love you this much
to lose you, and just leave you be

watercolours

they were never for me
i tried my hand
please understand
it was too good for me

if i am a peasant, you are the king
i have no value, you have everything
yet sadness tainted you, you felt its sting and
you settled for me
if i am a star, then you are the sun
you dazzle and awe and inspire everyone
and i am hidden and noticed by none and
i’ll never be the moon
if i am a sketch, then you are divine
even michelangelo made nothing so fine
though we are both bitter as mulberry wine
my love is sickeningly sweet
if you were just you and i was just me
you’d find someone else you’d want me to be
i know that it’s harsh, but that’s reality
you always push me away
if i was just me and you were just you
i would still love you, i know that you knew
and she wouldn’t love you as much as i do
but i guess that means nothing to you

you were never for me
i tried my hand
please understand
you are too good for me

foggy mornings,
we're tangled in sheets
two puffs of smoke,
three kisses on cheeks

i haven't felt this happy in weeks

she smelled like my favorite book,
with bunny eared corners and
underlined regret
her woodpine smile,
will take me a while
to
forget

she likes to scare you,
with tickles and feelings
a horror that conquers
creaking in the crack of darkness or
darkness
or
darkness

her eyes shine like Union Terminal
and her tye-dye smiles
are opaque
and clear
but my dear,
and my god,
and my God,
she is beautiful

she's the simple succulent,
no need for water
or commitment
but pleasing and
familiar
she's a polaroid picture
of the Queen City
and ****, is she witty

she's the only girl
who mocks Lana
and gets away with it

she calls you "honey,"
in her perfumed sheets
with a snowy exterior
on the busy streets

because from carmel apples
to frosted sidewalks,
she asks questions
and questions and questions
and she has a
glace that leaves cuts
on your heart and
a sway that rips your
control
apart

but monsters are people too,
and we could fall from grace together
monsters are people too,
and right now i'll endure
this
weather

i don't care about titles anymore
i don't care about length anymore

i care about guitar vibratons
and laughing on foggy mornings
and a puff of smoke and a kiss
on the cheek
and do you know why?

because

I swallow 20mg a day
I stay quiet next to you
I don't tell you you're the most beautiful thing I've seen in months
I know you're hungry
You don't eat your mother’s dinner
You eat me instead
I'm trying to find a way to tell you that your a heaven sent angel with a fat halo
But you grab at me and I can't speak clearly
My life with you have been episodes of this:

Departure, love, destruction and departure again
I scream you want it
you asked for it
you stood in my doorway wanting me
drawn to me like moth to a flame
Just come here again
Let me turn you over and hurt you again

Mom I know it's your birthday soon,
And because of that you'll be over the moon,
but I'd be remissed if before your day
I didn't tell you I love you more and more each day
And though you bother me sometimes to no end
you've helped me heal when I thought I wouldn't mend
When I was sick you got every last drop of medicine
When I skinned my knee or stubbed my toe
you were there for my little crying self, and I want the whole world to know
that even when we argue we always get it right in the end
your not only my mom, but my best friend,
but this is getting repetitive so I'll end it in this space
though many have come and gone, no one could ever take your place.

happy(early) birthday Mom!
I love you!