Because she wants to touch him,
she moves away.
Because she wants to talk to him,
she keeps silent.
Because she wants to kiss him,
she turns away
& kisses a man she does not want to kiss.

He watches
thinking she does not want him.
He listens
hearing her silence.
He turns away
thinking her distant
& kisses a girl he does not want to kiss.

They marry each other -
A four-way mistake.
He goes to bed with his wife
thinking of her.
Sher goes to bed with her husband
thinking of him.
-& all this in a real old-fashioned four-poster bed.

Do they live unhappily ever after?
Of course.
Do they undo their mistakes?
Never.
Who is the victim here?
Love is the victim.
Who is the villian?
Love that never dies.

I remember everything,
Stupid jokes, laughing,
Deep conversations and knowing smiles,
I remember,
And you, you who were my best friend, as I was yours, have all but forgotten,
And I'm sorry, I won't expect you to remember me, or think of me again, because you've found something better, something to show you our friendship was insignificant I guess,
But it still hurts, I never thought my own brother, who had earned that title from me with more than blood,
Wouldn't think to save one thought of then,
But what can I expect?
There won't ever be someone to remember little details about me so intimately,
I haven't even had someone to be interested consistantly in spending time with me,
It's not even that I'm always ignored,
I go unthought of,
And I think that's even worse

You were a 'Star' even back then.
The light from your eyes brightened
my days and all we had was time.

Too young, dumb and blind, I was,
to know for certain.
But deep down, a part of me could
tell that you would one day rise to
decorate the sky.

Now, the World orbits around 'you'.  
As well it should.
I still miss the times when
we were young
and you were mine.
Strumming your tunes
and making 'em rhyme.
No back up,
no stadiums,
just that sweet voice
humming new lines
into the Summer night.

Jealousy's wicked symphony
fills my mind as your blue eyes
gaze at me from the covers at
the checkout line.
Such is the fate of young lovers
who started as friends, until one
rises high and the other descends.

Oh, well.

You've earned the World's love
just as you won mine so long ago.
I hope you miss me too,  even
though I will always miss you
just a little more.

~~~

You're slipping baby girl
you're slipping from my reach,
my fingers straining to keep a grip on the thread that holds us together
while I slur my frightened speech.
You're slipping baby girl
into the farthest beyond,
a space where your light dims
and from which this eternal darkness without you spawned.
You're slipping my dearest and sweetest baby girl
to a place where dead trees live and hearts are cold,
where winter's chill falls upon us all
and desperation sinks into our skin and takes its hold.

Like fangs sinking deep into captured flesh
the reality of losing you stills my breath.

I ache for you to make me whole
to return to me the heart you stole.

This mirror is the only thing between us
as it's me that's slipped away,
and the darkness has taken over
it's come, it's conquered, it's here to stay.
So goodbye baby girl,
we are just a shell.
No longer the lively woman
but a desperate soul roaming freely in hell.

It was good while it lasted,
**my sweet baby girl.

I enjoy pointing my toes,
Pushing my hands into my thighs,
And jumping into a spot in the lake,
Where it is seemingly bottomless.

It often feels like the past.
The compression on my cranium is depression.
The depletion of air in my lungs is anxiety.
The vacant water that grasps me are my thoughts.

Floating to the top,
Yearning for my hands to create a whirlpool overhead,
Whose vortex could take me to the past,
To the flaws, tween stages, and grades that didn’t matter.

To inform past me,
That she’ll be okay.
That’d be me,
Pleading to know.

But in this moment,
I seem to be the girl that just,
Involuntarily drowns,
In her own lake of metaphors and insecurities.