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A strange sensation crawls beneath my skin, it's not something I've known before.
A claustrophobia that equates to a 1 by 1 concrete box. No windows.
A paranoia as vicious as a horror-movie induced glance around a familiar room.

Fire-breathing dragons soar through my nights, setting ablaze our days.
Our perfect, storybook romance, too perfect.

Flesh wounds that never healed.
Septic bandages tight around my ears.

Imprisoning his poison dripping words inside my head, like the parasitic maggot he was, they bore deeper into my sanity.

His monsters in my head won't let you in. Their screams drown out the reality of your safety.

How I feel is on the tip of my tongue, cowering behind heaving ribs.
Vulnerable.
I ran, I fled,
Fled from the light,
Lost? Yes lost,
To smoke and to night,
My lungs filled quick
With soot and black tide,
No sense, no senses,
No fear, just pride.

I choke, I cough,
On Judas' prize,
Gone? Yes gone,
The life in these eyes,
But here, I find,
Mortality denied,
No need for air,
Rebirth, not demise.

My chains, my rope,
Severed, frayed ends,
From family, from hearts,
No more I depend,
Alone, all mine,
For me to defend,
Black ribbons raise me,
Mercy descends.
If you believe, you can do anything
But not that
And not that

If you work for it, you can get anywhere
But not there
And not there

If you try hard, you can fix anything
But not that
And not that

If you love enough, you can be happy
But not now
And not now

If you commit, you can be anything
But not that
And not that

If you're ready, you can face the world
But not yet
And not yet

If you give enough, you can get anything
But not that
And not that

If you stand up, you will be counted
But not you
And not you

If you dream, you can do anything
But how could you ever hope to do that?
We've been told to reach
And to cry out for the stars -
They remain silent.
Out into the dark
Keep clutching at empty space
And scrabbling for light
Now we stare in awe
Marveling at specks of dust
That met in the black
Two-and-a-half tiles
Separate their fourteen legs
Eight and Six in stand-off
At each other's mercy.

A few circles make Six flinch
A flutter of wings but not
Surrender, not yet.

Eight gets braver,
Slipping silently down
Closing the gap to remove the half.

Six's spine stiffens,
Scrambling up, playing chicken,
Daring Eight to strike first
But neither do.

Eight hesitates,
Six waits,
And they turn,
And take with them
Their lives.
It seems we're slipping backwards,
Losing ground, footing, power,
And all the voices, all the opinions,
All the beliefs that shout the loudest
Keep shouting over us
Keep snapping back at us
Keep their hands on our mouths.

But we have marched before,
We will march again,
And our numbers only grow.

It seems we're at the mercy,
Of the polls, or the pundits,
Or the column writers
Or the political correspondents
Whose platforms give them high ground
From which to stamp at our climbing hands.

But we have marched before,
We will march again,
And our numbers only grow.

It seems we're fading away,
Like we were no more than
Dust blown off an old view
An old way of doing things
But we will not settle,
We cannot settle,
For our duty is worth more
Than a few pence a month.

We have marched before,
We will march again,
And keep marching,
Until we are unstoppable.
"Love yourself first"
Where did that get me?
Staring in the mirror
Asking questions
Finding all the problems
To forgive myself for
With no purpose
No passion
No drive

No, my love for myself
Starts with those around me
It starts with kindness
Self-sacrifice
And devotion
To the name of equality
Through which
I can believe
I am worth loving.
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