Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was a drinker and a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So - me watching - he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it! Turns to me, and he says, "Why so serious, son?" Comes at me with the knife... "Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth... "Let's put a smile on that face!" And... why so serious?

Here I am. Again.
It's the time when I have to make the hardest choice of my life.
My heart racing.
My mind lost.

My imagination was the only tool to help me see what's coming
All I could do is imagine.
What would happen if I made a wrong choice.  

I don't get it why.
It hurts to see you like that
Suffering the same way as I do
And crying and weeping for me

The last thing I ever want to do is to hurt you.
I just wished you thought from my view
You're not the only one suffering.  
You're not the only one depressed.
I am too.

It's pointless.
There's no reason for me to live  
When I don't mean anything to anyone
I'm tired of fighting insomnia and depression.
I'm exhausted of fighting my own thoughts.
I'm sick of fighting suicide.
Why should I hold on when I can just give up.
I can't fight my problems alone.

Turn up the silence and block out the sun,
Alone in my room, a bottle and a gun.
It goes click twice, I'll see another day,
Tears start to fall, can't carry on this way.

What happened?
What happened to that 4 year old kid?
The kid that everyone knew.
The kid that had a broad smile.
The kid that's always happy.
The kid that's always active and sporty.
The kid that loves to play ball and had no worries over life.
What happened?
Now,that kid has growned up.
As he steps in to the teenage phase
He thought that everything was going to be fine.
But that was his largest mistake.
Gradually after the days.
He changed.
From a person who smiles to a person that's frowns.
He gave up on everything
His favourite hobbies and sports all seemed to have lost his interest
He was no longer that happy and chirpy boy.
He became a suicidal and depressed.
His best friend.  
The person that he trusted the most.
Betrayed him.
He was left shattered into pieces.
Helpless from what was to come
His life took a dive
Everything when from bad to worse.
He needed someone.
He has lost all hope.
What else can he do besides surviving the onslaught of his problems?

Yes.
I feel it. My worse fear.
It's coming for me.
It's armies marching upon me
I know my time is up.   My mistakes and past come to hunt me down.
There's nothing I can do except to face it. Alone.
My so called allies and friends deserted me to die.
But here I am. Counting my days.
When will this be over?