i promise i am trying
trying my hardest
to mend myself
but it's hard to do
when my hands were never steady
my movements always too heavy
like the weight
of a million failed attempts
at trying to get two puzzle pieces
that aren't meant for each other to fit

my words used to run like waterfalls
undisturbed by man-made machines
until the people in my past
commanded me to construct a dam
but my aching hands
could not build it properly
and now my words
come in constant
incoherent sputters

i have always been my own downfall
even when my downfall was you
because i ignored the warning signs
that you would steal every piece
of my puzzle
and try to make it fit with yours
and when you gave up
i tried to pry yours away
and make them fit
because i couldn't feel anything
when you weren't beating me to a pulp
of cardboard and tears

and now my entire body
aches with this emptiness
that i cannot fill myself
but i have someone
who is perfectly willing
to help me dig myself from this grave

i'll be okay
she'll make sure i am
but i need her to leave a little piece
something to remind me
that the biggest wounds
leave the biggest scars
and they always tell a big story