The sun took it's first breath.
The moon flew downward,
Attempting to take a rest.
The beautiful rays of the sky,
Drew a question mark written across
The blue oasis asking "Why?"
That's when I first saw you there,
Oh, and if any words could tell you where
Myheart is,
it is lost.
Disappeared in an invisible relm,
Washed away by numb feelings
To overwhelm my body, my mind, my soul,
To grasp every word drawn up in my
Occupied mind would surely be a blessing,
For you have definately, undeniable, amazingly stole my heart
I don't understand what went wrong;
My love,
Or my song,
Sung for you.
Which one came first?
My reasoning or my verse
Read to you?
What made the words form oh so
Perfectly?
But where did I leave you?
Marked up,
Bloddy, lain upon a road I only wish I knew.
Fell past behind an opposing fate.
On that road, I left my soul.
All smiles slid down to my shadows,
My shadow smiles now.
My mind stole my words,
My mind speaks for me now.
My body breathes,
My body lives now.
My soul has a voice,
My soul screams now and cries
For you.
Every breath departed from these lips
Sings a song only for you.
Line by line,
Layer by layer,
I express every feeling for you.
When your palms rested against my skin,
My whole entire being felt you.
Pumping gratefulness through the veins.
I feel beyond myself in your grasp,
The warmth of your touch.

I was constantly in the midst of you harmful rays
You never gave me a chance to find some comfort in the shade
I was holding on for dear life to whatever was left
But our tiny rope was frayed
We were drowning in the problems you brought in
We could not be saved.

At what point does this stop
Because it feels overrated
I feel like my heartache has gone on too long it’s been overstated
So many nights I cried myself to sleep
I prayed to the Lord my soul to keep
My mind was lost
It was constantly faded
But I wanted to be with you so I constantly waited
Thought you’d wake up and see that this was the mess you created
You strung me along
Had me hanging on by a thread
And to this day you always deny every bad thing you ever said
Saying I’m liar
That I’m not to be trusted
But you just mad because everyone knows who you really are and you’ve already been busted
I will never let myself get into this type situation again
I kiss the abusing guys goodbye
You guys ain’t even real men.

Do you ever sit and think of me,
how our “love” was so tragic,
how our “love” should have never happened?
Do you ever get flashbacks?
Do you ever wish you could take some things back?
Do you ever regret the abuse?
Do you even have anything to say to what you’ve been accused?
None of this bothers you?
Do you remember the hate you used to spew?
I guess it doesn’t affect you because you don’t have my point of view.
Well let me give you some clarity,
you laid down the abuse with such intensity.
Nothing you did had any integrity,
You treated me like a stranger,
but to the verbal abuse you we had familiarity.
Lying on the floor dead didn’t seem to move you,
you lacked any empathy.
Do you ever wonder why you degraded me,
why you hated me,
why you messed with my head,
why you messed with my heart,
why you sought to destroy me from the very start?
As much as it pains me to say it,
I loved you.
But your “love” was killing me,
I begged you to stop hurting me,
but on deaf ears fell my plea.

The past several months meant nothing to you
You already had a plan of what you wanted to do
His smile tipped higher from ear to ear
I screamed but you turned down the volume
You could not hear
You knew you had me
You knew the abuser is who you craved to be
You knew destroying me is what you've been dying to see
The word free ceased to exist from my vocabulary
You never wanted to let me go
No matter how hard I'd scream and plea
You knew what you wanted to do
And I never thought this would ever be you.

I’m broken
you took everything I was away from me
I was stolen
and now I’m stuck in time
my soul is frozen
you made a choice to abuse me every chance you got
you destroyed my life with all the evil you brought
my head is spinning
the walls are closing in
it’s hard to know that I ever let you in
there’s a gaping hole inside my chest
you ripped my heart out and now there’s nothing left
I don’t know who I am anymore
I guess I’m just the lifeless being you left to die on the floor
my mind is wondering
it’s searching for an answer
as to why you came in my life and poisoned me like a cancer
I can never forgive you for the unspeakable things you did
you had nothing to gain from my pain
there was no benefit.

How didn’t I realize this was fatal from the start
I came into this and gave you every piece of my heart
I told you what I been through and how I’d never go back
You reassured me and said that I’d never lack
And for that you stuck true to your promises
Our relationship never lacked verbal abuse
Never lacked metal abuse
Never lacked emotional abuse
You ruined my life
And I’m still haunted by you
My not the same person I was
And I hate who I’ve become
You’ve molded me into a person I don’t recognize
I don’t know who I am
Or who I’m supposed to be
Because of you I’m lost
I’m wandering
Because of you I’m always angry
I’m emotional
I’m dysfunctional
It’s two years later and I’m still shattered
I’m stuck in a hole and I can’t get out
I can clearly see just how every single part of my life was devastated by your hands
You took my innocence away
I was left desecrated
I can’t believe I gave you all of me
All of this
For it to turn out and be the biggest failure of my life
The biggest miss
I walked away from this with
Scars on my body and regret in heart.