He branded his name on my body
He defiled and debased me
Left as a mere shell
Left shoddy
You took control
You took command
Pay attention and listen
Don't ever misunderstand
I saw your smile and led to a rapture
I never foresaw that it would lead to my capture
You craved my soft skin
You were infatuated
Your mind was swimming with the vile transgressions you contemplated
You only ever wished for me to be exterminated.

You touch was unforgiving
I gave you everything I had
There was no more giving
The war raged and it felt like there was no end
It seemed like my open wounds would never really mend
I felt pushed to my limit
I couldn't possibly still bend
You were supposed to defend
You were supposed to be my savior
You were supposed to unwaver
How could you look at me and let your blows commence?
How could you "love" me then abuse me?
It doesn't make sense
I pledged myself to you forever
You thought you could torture
Me and it would be whatever
You thought you possessed all skills
You thought you were clever.

I hate the fact that I hate you so much
I remember all those nights stuck in your devastating clutch
You kept me a secret
You kept me on the low
I was your puppet who gave an entertaining show
I couldn't breathe
I was gasping for air
You couldn't go a day without abusing me
No you could not bare
It wasn't fair
But then again nothing in my life was
You did everything to seek a higher buzz
You haunt me everyday of my life
And to think I'd **** to be your wife
Now the only thing I wanna **** is myself
Gravity's pulling me closer and closer to the knife
I hate that you still have power over me
You still control what I see
You still influence who I am to be
You're name never brought freedom
It brought torture and more to come
I know I deserve better
But my body's covered in your harsh words
****** by those letters
Good things about you never seem to come to mind
All my innocence was left behind
Vile words swirling in my head
They don't cease
They only rewind
Finding your soul seems to be a relic hard to find
You burned your views into my eyes
I can't see much
I've been left blind
I'm left crippled
Your villainous deeds did bind
Now it's dangerous to be left alone with the thoughts in my head
It constantly consumed the infernal trash you fed
I've lost all sense of surrounding
Used to the dangerous path you led
I just wish not a tear for you would ever be shed
What's the point anymore?
You've already left me mangled and dead.

Pledge yourself to the king
Or be dead
His kingdom reigned with truth forever unsaid
Without an ounce of righteousness ever shed
Evil motives and intentions is what his heart bled
Disaster and fear is the only thing he fed
He took each step with his head held high
With the pleasure of knowing I'd eventually die.

I slipped into something that couldn't be escaped
I fell deeper and deeper
You covered my eyes
You had my mouth taped
It was the truth you ultimately feared
I tried to scream but all sounds were smeared
I was alive but I wasn't living
You always took and you were never giving
The air was warm
But your abuse always sent chills down my spine
I had to obey you
I had to stay in line
Tell everyone I was fine
Raise no flag
Ring no alarm
Or else you'd cause more devastating harm
You fly under the radar with your ever blinding charm
When out in public
They see your good-guy flows
But behind closed doors
You unleashed your crippling blows.

I️ never wanted my life to be like this
But the assault affected every facet of my life
Every inch
Every corner
Every last minuscule area
Tainted
Disrupted by your doing
By your hands
I️ wondered when I’d be “normal” again
But the truth was
I️ was disintegrating from the inside out
I’d never be the person I was before the assault
I️ was stripped of everything that made me, me
I️ was now stained as your victim
I️ never wanted to be held down by your thumb
But I️ feel like I️ can’t shake you
I️ trusted you
I️ had faith in you
I️ thought that having a prior friendship would prevent this from happening
But it only gave way for sinister thoughts to manifest
It’s unfair that you get to move on with life your life like nothing happened
And I’m still stuck in the time warp of two and a half years ago
I’m still tortured by flash backs
I’m still tortured by your smell
I’m still tortured by your looks
I’m still tortured by your unforgiving and unmerited touch.

This is sick, all of it, grotesquely sickening.
This co-dependent, flesh-consuming, parasitic “relationship” is what we crave.
We’re ravenous beasts, that’s just who we are.
We hurt each other past the point of forgiveness.
The things you’ve yelled at me in a passionate, heated rage, undoubtedly, unforgivable.
The things I’ve done to you in my periods of momentary psychosis, unspeakably, unforgivable.
This is clearly and painfully sickening.
I can’t help but ask myself, “Why do I stay in this volatile battlefield, we’ve mistakenly called a normal relationship?”
But even more confusing, why do you stay if you hate me?
Nothing seems normal anymore.
It’s demented, but I love being your obscurity.
And I know you love being my parasite.
It’s all so sick, but we both know we love and need this.