There is this time of a day
Which I am most attracted to
Which I love
Which I enjoy like no other

It’s not the morning
Even though the rising sun is splendid
And the early chilly breeze is the freshest

Not the noon
When the sun is shining the most brightly
And all life is outside and thriving

And not the evening
No, there is something more powerful
Even than the lovely orange-pink sky

It’s the night
When you can fully open your windows
When it is all dark
Expect for the stars
When you are alone with your thoughts
When you can put all the weight from you shoulders down
Be your true self
Throw the masks away
Rest
And enjoy the silence
The night is the time when I feel truly happy

I’ve been drinking last night
I am not proud
It didn’t end up well

But
After such a long time
I felt like I belong
Somewhere
I could talk
And I did
I kissed, I laughed
And today I don’t remeber much

I’ve asked myself many times
Why do I do this?
Drink until I can’t control myself
For such a long time
I haven’t known the answer

But I know it now

Well, it is easy
To lose yourself to alcohol
To forget everything
Especially who you are
To become someone else
And I like it

I like to be that loud girl
Who does what she wants
Who doesn’t care about opinions
Who kisses whoever she likes
I do like that

I LOVE being wild
´Cause that’s the exact opposite of my true self
That’s why I drink

I know a person
The person is weird
I never know where I stand with him
At 8 o´clock he acts like he is above everything
At 9 he is super funny
At 10 angry with me, don’t even know why
At 11 he acts like I am nobody
At 12 he wants to talk
At 1 PM he is really nice
At 2PM he hurries somewhere, doesn’t have time
But at night
He is someone else
True self? I ask
He seems like he gets it
Gets me
We text, I feel instantly better
Maybe he is the friend?
Could he be the friend?
But then he doesn’t text back