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1.5k · Aug 2017
lancer
natalee Aug 2017
oh boy
with long hair
and a wild mind
he was always there
never hard to find
he called me lotus flower
always okay,
even if there were stormy showers
and something didn't go my way
i keep listening to his music
in hopes that he wrote it for me
he cured my sick
and set me free
i miss you
1.4k · Apr 2019
Missing Pieces
natalee Apr 2019
i failed my exam
and cried all day

i don’t know who



     i called out her name

she took my hand
said we both felt the same

i love you with all i am
1.1k · Oct 2021
dear anxiety,
natalee Oct 2021
just let me catch my breath
it’s been 22 years and i haven’t been able to keep down a morning breakfast yet
it’s been so long,
i now address you as my friend but please anxiety, stop following me to bed
a lullaby of all our mistakes
the morning birds scream in my face
can i just have one day to myself?
free of anxiety and everything else
834 · Jul 2021
Together
natalee Jul 2021
light as a feather
i’m in your sweater
feeling under the weather
i wish i was better
but love can’t be measured
and the rest is forever
590 · Jan 2022
under the weather
natalee Jan 2022
rain rain
stay with me
you bring joy
and all great things
if you go
i’ll be sad
and wonder why i feel this bad
563 · Oct 2018
going in circles
natalee Oct 2018
a candid smile
what was going through my head?
hadn't drank in a while,
my face hot and red
that in-between state of normal
with a little bit of regret
didn't act very formal
kept thinking things i will never forget
523 · Jul 2021
Read 12:04 AM
natalee Jul 2021
i break my own heart
texting you back
i know you don’t want me
but look where i’m at
baby i’m so lonely
and besides
you always reply back
518 · Mar 2018
my love
natalee Mar 2018
her eyes were never the color of my coffee that started my day
they were never the shade of honey when the light found them
never that rushing color of falling leaves in the middle of autumn that made you hope for something special
they were never all the things i found in them, comparing each fleck of color to something beautiful
after all, they were just brown
you will accept that you cannot romanticize the past. you can’t paint a picture you will wish you never let go of. she hurt you. she would’ve tried if she loved you so
499 · Feb 2022
angel numbers
natalee Feb 2022
curly hair, sweet laughter, and
honey filled eyes
id risk it all for you, if just given the time
473 · Mar 2018
the wall
natalee Mar 2018
i close my eyes and drift off to sleep
hoping this is the one place
i have to myself
where i feel safe and
free to love just so.
i can still dream of you so vividly...

we’re at that one place
there you are
me, barely peeking over the top of your head, i can smell the honey shampoo you use as the wind blows
wisps of hair you try and
keep out of your face but
never manage to
the sun shines down to make your eyes appear with all the shades of brown i never knew before you
your freckles, scattered across your face
like the artist who created
you placed each one
with the most precise
stroke of their brush..

each dream i never fail
to see you so vividly
time and time again
a different setting
a different twist
a different story may occur but it’s always the same you
something i can never escape
the ending never changes
i’m left with the same feeling of
never being loved by you
406 · Apr 2019
not a good poet
natalee Apr 2019
the black ink smeared by tear drops on my paper reminds me of the sky the day your parents told me i was the reason they cried in the shower at night
391 · Sep 2021
But…
natalee Sep 2021
when August came….
you expected gentle freckles
and sweet lemonade,
the morning solstice
and warm summer days

but August came,
and August went,
she brought you pain
and a heart to mend
357 · Jul 2017
July 4th
natalee Jul 2017
fireworks,
that's how you explained it
when we kissed
such beautiful sparks
set us free

every year
july 4th
your family
celebrated our freedom
with fireworks too

you told me
they asked which color
you wanted to be the
finale
this time you chose
blue

you told me
it was like the
blue in my eyes
that you couldn't get enough of

now
there's no longer
us
just the
boom
of the
fireworks
and the breaking
of my
heart

i should've known
he had
blue eyes
too
356 · Dec 2018
Rainbow Tattoo
natalee Dec 2018
that little symbol
with the three curls
means the entire world to me
just like that girl

this tiny little rainbow
represents where i stand
it lets the world know
i love who i am

this permanent mark
is with me forever
it’s a part of my heart
and allows me to love whoever

Love is Love
that’s how i live
i think that’s enough
for me to give

no matter the gender,
sexuality,
or race
Love is for everyone
and can’t be erased

so follow your heart
no matter the direction
become who you are
and show some affection
natalee Jul 2017
how is it that
hearing your name
hurts.
hours i've spent
hand writing your initial
H
hoping one day
holding you in my heart for so long
happens to make things real.
honestly, you don't even know me
hardly even met
however, my soul yearns
humming your name
her
308 · Jan 2022
Untitled
natalee Jan 2022
now i lay me down to sleep
i pray the lord, my thoughts to keep
my anxious mind
runs through the night
i don’t know if i
can stay this time
302 · Sep 2017
Time With You
natalee Sep 2017
i have to keep this song safe
so it's meaning won't change
keep you close to my heart
so the feeling won't fade
please stay with me forever
you push my sadness away
274 · Sep 2017
the same field
natalee Sep 2017
i stand alone
within an open field
surrounded, no civilization in sight
the grass rises to my kneees, all in unison
moving with the wind, leaning in perfect synchronization
the sky is lightly covered
with a warm blend of orange and blue
the wind is steady, keeping my hair aloft
the scene is permanently stained into my
broken mind
i look around, the familiar
scene
the semi-sweet sent, the cool breeze
Your image pushed itself into my mind
broken mind
i know that even through the distance,
You
are in the same field
thinking the same, different, thing
my stomach flashes the familiar flash
the shot of grief
a puzzle completed, yet i cannot find
my last piece
my last piece is with
You
i miss you
266 · Jan 2019
a bakers dozen
natalee Jan 2019
it’s been forever
but it feels like yesterday
i think of you in the simplest of ways
i got takeout today and my order number was 12
i know you can’t be with me
but somehow you still manage to stick around
257 · Oct 2021
Untitled
natalee Oct 2021
i look for myself in people constantly
i direct my image outside and wonder why i keep leaving places empty handed
i am enough
so why do my lips ache to say your name
how do my hands fit so perfectly around your waist but when i come home and lay in bed alone i’m left with nothing but moments
i’m exhausting my love in places that cannot be accepted so when i look in the mirror i see nothing but a person searching for someone to hold
254 · Apr 2019
body parts
natalee Apr 2019
you’ve caught my eye
and have my ear
i’m willing to listen
whenever you’re near
i hope we have a chance
for our lips to meet
you make my cheeks red
and heart skip a beat
253 · Sep 2021
<3
natalee Sep 2021
<3
you’re my 6am
and evening thoughts
no matter my plans
it’s you i want
so let’s slip away
behind closed doors
say my name
and i’ll be yours
246 · Apr 2019
bananas
natalee Apr 2019
bruised by being used
to me it’s nothing new
you’re all i had to lose
now i’m left without a clue
242 · Jul 2017
milo
natalee Jul 2017
“it’s amazing what you can do”

she talks as if i have magical powers,

so why won’t she let me save her?

be my beauty and i can tame your beast

i have enough love for
the both of us
she was telling me how she saw the new beauty and the beast today
natalee Mar 2022
you’re the reason i eat burnt toast in the morning
drink cold coffee
and forget to tie my shoes
natalee Jan 2018
my insecurities pile up
making up most of my thoughts throughout the day
it’s hard to draw the line between real and fake
always wanting to run from what’s real
and make my own fantasy
except the only place i know anymore
is your arms
222 · Aug 2017
wait
natalee Aug 2017
i want it to mean something,
i feel a lot of pressure.
those were the words
that left your mouth
when all i wanted
was to show
you
how i felt about
you
with my lips,
no words

it bothers me how
it's as if someone kissed
you before
and it didn't mean something

how could someone come so close to a piece of heaven,
fall on their knees,
and not call it worship?
222 · Apr 2018
distraction
natalee Apr 2018
i used to always stare at you
sometimes too long, so beautiful you would have to tell me to rest my eyes
now i can’t even look at you
220 · Apr 2018
teacher
natalee Apr 2018
i would always tell you that you taught me so much
and that was the truth
except i think you thought it meant something different
you taught me to love myself, because i could never expect that from you
you taught me i was the only person there for myself, because you never were
you taught me how to be patient
because you always had a short temper
you taught me how to be happy because you never gave that to me
you taught me to treat others with only love
because i knew how much it hurt that you didn’t love me
215 · Apr 2018
i don’t belong here
natalee Apr 2018
it’s a different kind of sad
not a sad i miss you
not a sad where i can’t let you go
it’s a different kind of sad
a sad like what if everyone i meet gets bored of me
a sad that makes you wonder if you’re too hard to love
a sad where you gave too much and you wonder if you’ll ever get that back
a sad where no one understands
a sad that leaves you asking why
a sad where you never feel yourself in your own home
a sad where you don’t have a home
a sad that you keep getting lost in
and wonder through alone
207 · Oct 2017
a heavy heart
natalee Oct 2017
i thought i was done crying myself to sleep
205 · Jun 2017
same old
natalee Jun 2017
how do i become infatuated so easily?

one by one

i fall

into a never
ending

never mending

cycle
202 · Nov 2018
pay attention to me
natalee Nov 2018
why do i still have nights,
crying myself to sleep,
i can’t escape the thoughts of you and me
196 · Aug 2017
take it slow
natalee Aug 2017
sometimes,
i write for myself
sometimes,
i write for people
all the time,
it's about
you
183 · Sep 2017
fall, it's begun
natalee Sep 2017
the words
i love you
don't sit well on my tongue
are they mine to say anyway
why doesn't it feel
the same as loving her
you're better
much better
i think i was stuck on the
chase
chase
chase
i was never good at running anyway
so maybe the i love you's
are meant to stay
and be okay
i think i love you
anyway
natalee Dec 2018
when we kissed, it was like we created our own language
so how could you forget me
take my heart, then vanish

we talked about our future
how we would be together
now you play our love off as a rumor
even though you said we were forever

so i’m confused
how you call yourself straight
i feel misused
so could you please elaborate?

we were once exclusive
our bond could never break
or am i just stupid
and one of your mistakes
natalee Feb 2018
you meet a girl
you mistake her flames
for a light to guide the way
you think the warmth
is a comforting welcome
but every time you try and
soothe your cold broken hands on her warm heart
you come back with burn marks
you meet a girl
you mistake her bitter words
for a lullaby to help you sleep
they play over and over in your dreams
like a broken record of all the times you asked her to stay
169 · Jun 2017
retain her
natalee Jun 2017
my heart aches for her

just as my teeth do every night

i click in my retainer

of course, i can’t
even keep my teeth
 straight

i think about her and

wish what we had was
special

then i take out my retainer

because i remember the gap

between her teeth

is something
special
my first one i feel proud of
169 · Mar 2018
just a page turn
natalee Mar 2018
i wish i could write a poem about how much i love books and how they let me escape to some place else where i don’t have to be me anymore but all i can say is you should read them too and hope you will love them like i always do
169 · Jul 2017
i'll love you forever
natalee Jul 2017
i'm sorry kid but you'll always have those simmering coals that remind you of her deep down in your heart
164 · Mar 2018
better
natalee Mar 2018
you were not the first girl i’ve ever loved, or the last one
that thought brings back color to my eyes
let’s keep it this way my love
you staying there
and me over here
not talking, not looking, so maybe this time i can forget the way your laughs sounds, the way your lips curl in when you’re trying to focus, the way you hurt me
it’s in the past now
it’s time to forget
i do wish i could’ve loved you forever
163 · Jan 2022
a ghost of you
natalee Jan 2022
i was so excited
to start something new
then you took my heart
and turned it back to blue
159 · Apr 2018
our attempt at love
natalee Apr 2018
we are not the same
i am the first flower you pick during spring
you are the first fallen leaf at the beginning of autumn
i am the sun to which provides the light
you are the moon playing with the dark
i am the lit candle, my flame dancing
you are the gust of wind, stirring my smoke
i am the colorful laughter of joy
you are the heavy tear of happiness
you will find beauty in these things we encompass, but accept that we were two different universes trying to exist within another
149 · Sep 2018
electric love
natalee Sep 2018
when will i figure out that me and you can never be together.
i’m a scorpio and you’re an aries anyway.
our love was something you could never measure.
but i’ll still play our song and pretend to dance and steal your heart away.
149 · Jul 2017
enough
natalee Jul 2017
"do you ever get lonely?"
yeah...
do you?
"yeah..."
...i'll always be here yanno
"yeah, but you're not a boy"



she told me that over a year ago
it still keeps me up at night
141 · Dec 2018
replay
natalee Dec 2018
every time i see you i have to start over
stop
reset
then press play
people say you’re a glitch in my system
corrupted my mind and wasted my time so i try and go back to the way things were before me and you
but i don’t know any other way
i’m sad
and want you back
so instead i press replay
140 · Apr 2018
user
natalee Apr 2018
she made everything i felt held something special just seem as a second hand emotion, passed down and lost its meaning
i wanted to find beauty in everything, even the broken, while she just wanted a spring cleaning
so i opened the windows, breathed in the new seasonal air and made her leave
140 · Mar 2018
i’m pluto
natalee Mar 2018
i remember my last heartbreak
it’s hard to forget
it made my body ache
though it was all in my head
now here i am again
my heart feeling the same
i can feel myself caving in
trying to stay sane
i question if it gets easier
not feeling this way
it hits me like a meteor
will it ever go away?
140 · Jul 2017
rot and ruin
natalee Jul 2017
as i search for some hope

my place in the school library

she speaks

“are you looking for anything in particular?”

i wish i could answer truthfully

two reasons

in reality she was my answer

but she doesn’t know

her brown eyes give me hope
natalee Jul 2017
i'm sorry
i can't love you like they could
i'm sorry
that's not how God made me
i'm sorry
i break your heart
i'm sorry
you love me
i'm sorry
my feelings can't align with yours
like how i feel most myself
when i'm kissing
Her
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