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May 22 · 35
She is an Artist
natalee May 22
She paints me as a dream even as I see my flaws beneath the decorated canvas
Shes plays my heart, string for string and I might have thought she had been playing all her life
Love wasn’t something I knew before her, it’s like I was living in grey scale and she was the first thing I saw in color
The other day I saw a red bird perched on my balcony
I thought to text her and tell her in that moment I knew
I didn’t believe in signs from God until I saw her and then they started appearing at my door to sing me good morning
For a while I was convinced there wasn’t anyone who could know me like this
My heart is a sink full of ***** dishes I always distract myself from cleaning, but she listens
I’m not much of a love poet, but if I were to decide to write about love,
it would be about her
natalee Mar 2022
you’re the reason i eat burnt toast in the morning
drink cold coffee
and forget to tie my shoes
Feb 2022 · 187
crush
natalee Feb 2022
bedridden by the thought of you,
i’m forced to sleep and fall into dreams of
what i wish could happen between us,
but for now i’ll write you poetry
steal your hand for a drunken dance
and walk you home,
asking for
nothing more
Feb 2022 · 509
angel numbers
natalee Feb 2022
curly hair, sweet laughter, and
honey filled eyes
id risk it all for you, if just given the time
Jan 2022 · 168
a ghost of you
natalee Jan 2022
i was so excited
to start something new
then you took my heart
and turned it back to blue
Jan 2022 · 600
under the weather
natalee Jan 2022
rain rain
stay with me
you bring joy
and all great things
if you go
i’ll be sad
and wonder why i feel this bad
Jan 2022 · 128
feeling blue
natalee Jan 2022
blue as the ocean
from the inside out
it’s hurts so bad
to try and love myself
i’ve gotten used to being sad
with tear filled eyes
i’m starting to appreciate
how it turns them to a
gentle shade of blue
Jan 2022 · 314
Untitled
natalee Jan 2022
now i lay me down to sleep
i pray the lord, my thoughts to keep
my anxious mind
runs through the night
i don’t know if i
can stay this time
Oct 2021 · 264
Untitled
natalee Oct 2021
i look for myself in people constantly
i direct my image outside and wonder why i keep leaving places empty handed
i am enough
so why do my lips ache to say your name
how do my hands fit so perfectly around your waist but when i come home and lay in bed alone i’m left with nothing but moments
i’m exhausting my love in places that cannot be accepted so when i look in the mirror i see nothing but a person searching for someone to hold
Oct 2021 · 1.1k
dear anxiety,
natalee Oct 2021
just let me catch my breath
it’s been 22 years and i haven’t been able to keep down a morning breakfast yet
it’s been so long,
i now address you as my friend but please anxiety, stop following me to bed
a lullaby of all our mistakes
the morning birds scream in my face
can i just have one day to myself?
free of anxiety and everything else
Oct 2021 · 108
Love is Love
natalee Oct 2021
let’s go back to the night we were torn from each other
let’s follow the signs the universe showed us to avoid such depressing events
i think back to that time and know how our love could have survived if we weren’t so young and reckless
as i mature and grow, i’ve learned it wasn’t our fault
our love was pure but the world could never accept us, and sometimes still won’t
so when i dream of you and i, do you see me in yours too?
i still have my dreamcatcher we shared
and it’s always latching on to you…
natalee Oct 2021
how embarrassing it is to have feelings
i don’t want them anymore
take them away
leave me beside
there’s no room left
in my jumbled up life
so take my thoughts,
my feelings,
my pride,
and leave me alone
with you in my mind
Sep 2021 · 253
<3
natalee Sep 2021
<3
you’re my 6am
and evening thoughts
no matter my plans
it’s you i want
so let’s slip away
behind closed doors
say my name
and i’ll be yours
Sep 2021 · 391
But…
natalee Sep 2021
when August came….
you expected gentle freckles
and sweet lemonade,
the morning solstice
and warm summer days

but August came,
and August went,
she brought you pain
and a heart to mend
Sep 2021 · 96
You were never my Muse
natalee Sep 2021
it all makes sense now
did i not see it from the beginning?
how could it have been love
when my pen and paper always ended up empty…
Jul 2021 · 834
Together
natalee Jul 2021
light as a feather
i’m in your sweater
feeling under the weather
i wish i was better
but love can’t be measured
and the rest is forever
Jul 2021 · 531
Read 12:04 AM
natalee Jul 2021
i break my own heart
texting you back
i know you don’t want me
but look where i’m at
baby i’m so lonely
and besides
you always reply back
Jul 2021 · 91
Untitled
natalee Jul 2021
we exchange glances across the room
i still remember the first time i met you
even though it was just three months ago
and we’ve only hung out three times
still i just want you to be my girlfriend
because i heard third times the charm
Jul 2021 · 81
Writing Again
natalee Jul 2021
i’m sorry i left you behind
i must have lost my mind
you’ve been my only friend
when my world comes to an end
my hand drifts towards a pen
and i rewrite my life again
i never know where to begin
but i always find myself, writing again
Jul 2019 · 113
codependency
natalee Jul 2019
my mother asks me about my relationships
i tell her what doesn’t fit
how my heart sits
how every person just isn’t it
most of my relationships end in failure
she asks me why, and scolds my behavior
how can she not tell
i learn from what i see
all throughout my childhood
and how it’s passed down to me
May 2019 · 125
maybe i am needy
natalee May 2019
the drop of my stomach
the ache in my heart
unexpected words leave me feeling worlds apart
i ask myself questions i can’t bare to know the answer
i ponder my worth, comparing our genders
i ******* hate rhyming, because it sounds too simple
when i’m trying to express the dark thoughts of my mental
Apr 2019 · 246
bananas
natalee Apr 2019
bruised by being used
to me it’s nothing new
you’re all i had to lose
now i’m left without a clue
Apr 2019 · 406
not a good poet
natalee Apr 2019
the black ink smeared by tear drops on my paper reminds me of the sky the day your parents told me i was the reason they cried in the shower at night
Apr 2019 · 254
body parts
natalee Apr 2019
you’ve caught my eye
and have my ear
i’m willing to listen
whenever you’re near
i hope we have a chance
for our lips to meet
you make my cheeks red
and heart skip a beat
Apr 2019 · 1.4k
Missing Pieces
natalee Apr 2019
i failed my exam
and cried all day

i don’t know who



     i called out her name

she took my hand
said we both felt the same

i love you with all i am
Mar 2019 · 91
#88
natalee Mar 2019
#88
i learn ways to enjoy life without you
i’ve stopped putting creamer in my coffee
the dark brew reminds me of your eyes
i run every morning
my shortness of breath
reminds me of your name
i spend more time reading
our love had me at a loss for words
you taught me to appreciate life more
because some things cannot stay
i’m starting to pick up new habits, but you’re still stuck in my old ways
Feb 2019 · 126
5 am
natalee Feb 2019
i don’t know how to write anymore
no words
come to my head other than i miss you
it’s all been said before
poems have been written
songs have been played
no wishes can be granted for this broken heart to go away
all i ask is for this baggage to be lifted off my shoulders
no one taught me how to let go
i cling to our memories like my life depends on it
i don’t know how to be me without you because i thought it would always be us in the end
but you left me crying in my room that one october stripped of my self worth
now every time i think
i’m getting better
i look in the mirror and see those blue eyes you said you loved and can’t help but think that’s the last thing you saw before you decided to leave me
Jan 2019 · 274
a bakers dozen
natalee Jan 2019
it’s been forever
but it feels like yesterday
i think of you in the simplest of ways
i got takeout today and my order number was 12
i know you can’t be with me
but somehow you still manage to stick around
Dec 2018 · 149
replay
natalee Dec 2018
every time i see you i have to start over
stop
reset
then press play
people say you’re a glitch in my system
corrupted my mind and wasted my time so i try and go back to the way things were before me and you
but i don’t know any other way
i’m sad
and want you back
so instead i press replay
natalee Dec 2018
when we kissed, it was like we created our own language
so how could you forget me
take my heart, then vanish

we talked about our future
how we would be together
now you play our love off as a rumor
even though you said we were forever

so i’m confused
how you call yourself straight
i feel misused
so could you please elaborate?

we were once exclusive
our bond could never break
or am i just stupid
and one of your mistakes
Dec 2018 · 356
Rainbow Tattoo
natalee Dec 2018
that little symbol
with the three curls
means the entire world to me
just like that girl

this tiny little rainbow
represents where i stand
it lets the world know
i love who i am

this permanent mark
is with me forever
it’s a part of my heart
and allows me to love whoever

Love is Love
that’s how i live
i think that’s enough
for me to give

no matter the gender,
sexuality,
or race
Love is for everyone
and can’t be erased

so follow your heart
no matter the direction
become who you are
and show some affection
Nov 2018 · 202
pay attention to me
natalee Nov 2018
why do i still have nights,
crying myself to sleep,
i can’t escape the thoughts of you and me
Oct 2018 · 566
going in circles
natalee Oct 2018
a candid smile
what was going through my head?
hadn't drank in a while,
my face hot and red
that in-between state of normal
with a little bit of regret
didn't act very formal
kept thinking things i will never forget
Sep 2018 · 118
almost 3 years
natalee Sep 2018
it’s been too long for me to still feel this way
you put a spell on my heart
now all i do is pray
that you’ll come back and we’ll never part
Sep 2018 · 149
electric love
natalee Sep 2018
when will i figure out that me and you can never be together.
i’m a scorpio and you’re an aries anyway.
our love was something you could never measure.
but i’ll still play our song and pretend to dance and steal your heart away.
Jun 2018 · 134
to my first love
natalee Jun 2018
i will always question what could’ve happened between us, if just given the right timing
my heart still skips a beat when i hear your name
i will always be able to spot you in a crowd, no matter how big
that song will always be our song
you’ll always have a piece of my heart
thank you for being my first kiss and loving me with all you had
i’ll always love you
Apr 2018 · 215
i don’t belong here
natalee Apr 2018
it’s a different kind of sad
not a sad i miss you
not a sad where i can’t let you go
it’s a different kind of sad
a sad like what if everyone i meet gets bored of me
a sad that makes you wonder if you’re too hard to love
a sad where you gave too much and you wonder if you’ll ever get that back
a sad where no one understands
a sad that leaves you asking why
a sad where you never feel yourself in your own home
a sad where you don’t have a home
a sad that you keep getting lost in
and wonder through alone
Apr 2018 · 99
our dream catchers
natalee Apr 2018
we still pass each other in the hallway and
stare for too long
we both can’t help but smile
i’m left with the thought of what could’ve happened between us
i truly thought you were the one
***
Apr 2018 · 159
our attempt at love
natalee Apr 2018
we are not the same
i am the first flower you pick during spring
you are the first fallen leaf at the beginning of autumn
i am the sun to which provides the light
you are the moon playing with the dark
i am the lit candle, my flame dancing
you are the gust of wind, stirring my smoke
i am the colorful laughter of joy
you are the heavy tear of happiness
you will find beauty in these things we encompass, but accept that we were two different universes trying to exist within another
Apr 2018 · 220
teacher
natalee Apr 2018
i would always tell you that you taught me so much
and that was the truth
except i think you thought it meant something different
you taught me to love myself, because i could never expect that from you
you taught me i was the only person there for myself, because you never were
you taught me how to be patient
because you always had a short temper
you taught me how to be happy because you never gave that to me
you taught me to treat others with only love
because i knew how much it hurt that you didn’t love me
Apr 2018 · 222
distraction
natalee Apr 2018
i used to always stare at you
sometimes too long, so beautiful you would have to tell me to rest my eyes
now i can’t even look at you
Apr 2018 · 134
changing of the season
natalee Apr 2018
i think of you less and less each day
i’m okay with going our separate ways
Apr 2018 · 140
user
natalee Apr 2018
she made everything i felt held something special just seem as a second hand emotion, passed down and lost its meaning
i wanted to find beauty in everything, even the broken, while she just wanted a spring cleaning
so i opened the windows, breathed in the new seasonal air and made her leave
Mar 2018 · 518
my love
natalee Mar 2018
her eyes were never the color of my coffee that started my day
they were never the shade of honey when the light found them
never that rushing color of falling leaves in the middle of autumn that made you hope for something special
they were never all the things i found in them, comparing each fleck of color to something beautiful
after all, they were just brown
you will accept that you cannot romanticize the past. you can’t paint a picture you will wish you never let go of. she hurt you. she would’ve tried if she loved you so
Mar 2018 · 113
fake love
natalee Mar 2018
you don’t need to love every person who comes along and actually treats you right, just let them be and do what they do, and let them move throughout your life, even if they leave
you’re not sure what i’m saying but it makes sense to me
Mar 2018 · 140
i’m pluto
natalee Mar 2018
i remember my last heartbreak
it’s hard to forget
it made my body ache
though it was all in my head
now here i am again
my heart feeling the same
i can feel myself caving in
trying to stay sane
i question if it gets easier
not feeling this way
it hits me like a meteor
will it ever go away?
Mar 2018 · 131
lesson learned
natalee Mar 2018
reckless behavior
that’s what it is
there’s no way to save her
there’s no way to win
she does what she wants
no care in the world
she’s never loved once
she takes, like a *****
she’ll drop you so fast
no need to commit
don’t ever look back
she’s just a ******* hypocrite
Mar 2018 · 170
better
natalee Mar 2018
you were not the first girl i’ve ever loved, or the last one
that thought brings back color to my eyes
let’s keep it this way my love
you staying there
and me over here
not talking, not looking, so maybe this time i can forget the way your laughs sounds, the way your lips curl in when you’re trying to focus, the way you hurt me
it’s in the past now
it’s time to forget
i do wish i could’ve loved you forever
Mar 2018 · 169
just a page turn
natalee Mar 2018
i wish i could write a poem about how much i love books and how they let me escape to some place else where i don’t have to be me anymore but all i can say is you should read them too and hope you will love them like i always do
Mar 2018 · 473
the wall
natalee Mar 2018
i close my eyes and drift off to sleep
hoping this is the one place
i have to myself
where i feel safe and
free to love just so.
i can still dream of you so vividly...

we’re at that one place
there you are
me, barely peeking over the top of your head, i can smell the honey shampoo you use as the wind blows
wisps of hair you try and
keep out of your face but
never manage to
the sun shines down to make your eyes appear with all the shades of brown i never knew before you
your freckles, scattered across your face
like the artist who created
you placed each one
with the most precise
stroke of their brush..

each dream i never fail
to see you so vividly
time and time again
a different setting
a different twist
a different story may occur but it’s always the same you
something i can never escape
the ending never changes
i’m left with the same feeling of
never being loved by you
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