I stopped keeping a tissue box next to my bed
I regret that now
as I reach over my headboard
for that familiar cardboard feeling

I bury my face into my pillow
as I had done countless times before
and wonder how
how I am back at square one
after building my dam
so strong; mighty
How did I get so careless to let it break
over nothing

I let so much grow over me
I cannot breath
heavy roots of tall oak trees
trapping my lungs
captive birds screeching to escape my rib cage
My brain-- empty
empty, yet so full
full of pieces of everything
yet nothing coming together

You say time heals all wounds
But flesh gets infected
Bacteria festers
Multiplies with every passing minute

I suppose things get worse
Before they can get better

Eventually the bacteria will die
Your blood will clot
Skin closing up
Leaving nothing but a scar
To remind you of the pain
Every time you get too close to love again

So yes, time heals all wounds
But at what cost?

I can normally only write from a place of hurt
But for you
I'll try to write from a place of love

When I think of you
I get the same warm feeling
as when I think of home
Comforting

You know me better than I know myself

I hate the way
you creep into my subconscious when I'm sleeping
unannounced
filling my dreams with new memories
giving me something fresh to hold on to
making me not want to wake up